@ArtsyMorgi
One day, there will be nothing more than the beauty blanketed by the stars above and the moon's glistening light.
She is always there for you.
Even on her darkest nights, when she shines not. She is there.
hewwo fren
Fake love. False hope. Broken dreams. Empty feelings.
It's all I ever feel. It's all I really know is true. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing touch with reality. I feel insane.
But hey, who knows? Maybe I am.
You keep on turning pages
For people who don't care
For people who don't care about you
And still it takes you ages!
To see that no one's there
See that no one's there
Everybodies gone on
without you
@Hurricanebois oh no!!- It's not by myself right-? I mean I do try and respond when I get the chance.
"But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I were her, maybe you'd pick me.."
"And when God takes you back, we'll sing Hallelujah you're home..."
I don't know why I exist. That's all.
I see that you found me.
A conversation about how I feel went a little like this:
My friend, "Someday you'll be able to master your emotions, and understand them. "
Myself: "God I'll be dead
I'll be dead before I even do that
I'll be 102 and still have mental breakdowns
I'll be 110 and not know how I even lived so damn long. I won't know how I feel.
I don't know who I am or why I exist and perhaps I never will. My emotions will never be tamed anyway."
Them: "You don't know that-"
Myself: "I do, and I know I'll never know anything more about it... I know that I'm happy during the day and the next second when I'm alone with my thoughts, that I can't even process, I start having a mental breakdown. I'm happy the next minute and I turn with a frown. Like those theatre masks, the happy and the dramatically sad, the happy is how I cover the sad one."
I'm crying and I don't even know why. I refuse everything good in life and won't accept anything bad either. I'm just this person existing for no reason and I don't know how my emotions are fueled. Gods, I could go on...
@TheWhiteWitchMorgana If you achieve that, please take care of yourself. It's hypocritism if you don't follow it. :P
@Hurricanebois Well, I like to analyze things. It's mostly why I want to be a psychologist, or psychiatrist. I want to help people through their emotions while I disregard mine, and I appreciate when people have a little understanding.
@TheWhiteWitchMorgana ...how so? Not a lot of people really appreciate long paragraphs on an emotional analysis...
How my brain works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3iRoMPmsdg