@Anti_Spiral Okay, so the first thing I will talk about is style. The style you write in doesn't have clear paragraphs or sections, and is unappealing to the eye. I would add in more punctuation, or try to group things more definitively.
In terms of story, I think since this is a fantasy about knights, you could take advantage of things written previously. Like The Round Table, Don Quijote, Narnia, etc.