Asterisk Lynn Novia

This is it! I just watched a video on indigenous people tiktoks. It’s from this really cool YouTube I watch who spreads awareness about stuff like this. Mr. Demon. And I’ve decided I’m denouncing the Fourth of July and any American holiday. Not until we recognize that we destroyed the land of a peaceful people and slaughtered them time after time. I’m just a kid, but if America doesn’t pay for what we’ve done to the people who were here before us, I’m gonna drag this to the friggin grave and further. Americans don’t deserve to live here and we killed billions just because we wanted to live somewhere else. And I’d like to say that former Columbus Day is now indigenous people day. Honestly, I’m ashamed to have been born to such disgraceful ancestors that were too stubborn to try to understand the people before us. And they were dragged all across the country just because we didn’t like them. If I got anything wrong, feel free to correct me. But until someone convinces me that America didn’t come into a land that wasn’t theirs and kill a bunch of people that didn’t hurt them, I will not be silent. People died to get America freedom from King George, but we got freedom by taking land that wasn’t ours and killing natives. I’m still trying to decide on Labor Day, but I’m leaning towards a hard not celebrating. 

I have to go to school in person today so I’ll probably be publishing another chapter to my diary book thing. I’m gonna try to come out to these two people who I think I’m friends with. I’m really scared. But a wise person once told me to come from a place of stability. That was me. And I’m doomed aren’t I? I can’t fact check myself. UGH.

I swear I could rant so much rn. My teacher just told me no hoodies in class(cus I had my hoodie on) and then when I took it off, he said he was kidding and I was being too... literal? It’s not the fact that he’s kidding around, it’s the fact that he always messes with me the most when I’m mad. 

I just showed my teacher my abstract art progress and I literally have not frowned more than I did when he said that it looked good. I literally didn’t even use the chair as a reference. I swear, I could’ve randomly scribbled a lot and he’d say it looks wonderful. I have not hated anything more than right now. I really don’t like my art teacher.

I’m in art class and we’re doing this abstract art study thing and I do not understand this in the slightest. Why would you draw a chair just to end up making it look like something other than a chair? I’m really sorry if anyone finds this offensive, I just do not understand how someone can see a chair differently than how a chair looks. If anyone knows, please explain. 

Today was nice, I guess. Watched the Blair Witch Project and did a lab that was supposed to be done throughout the past three days or so. I wish I could just get over my crush already. I don’t know why I’m so determined to ask her out. I’ve never liked someone who’s probably not single this much and I hate it. It’s so unfair for her. She shouldn’t have to choose and I’m not asking her out until I know she’s single. But I have to at least ask her out. She doesn’t really seem like someone who knows how pretty she is. She should know that at least someone likes her. Lol... Anyway, goodnight. 

Anyway, at church we had to have the substitute musicians who are from another church. In other words, I had to do sound for a bunch of straight girls that I’ve low key liked when I was a kid. One of them is got engaged today, so that’s nice. Other than that moment, I was a mess. Why does everyone make eye contact? Did my shorts not convey the fact that I’m pansexual? Was the fact that my pansexual flag is now on my hoodie strings not change anything? Did they not see the rainbow on my sleeve? What do I do?

Ugh, I need help writing transgender characters. I’m still not publicly announcing this. Theoretically, I do have a transgender individual who can in fact help me as he is ftm. But we’re not on good terms. We haven’t really talked much. UGH. And I can’t contact him on messenger because if I do that then I’ll end up having to explain why I’m making representation in my books even though I’m ‘not transgender.’ And I will not come out over text ever again. I swear on nothing at all, I shall not do that. 

I sewed l’gae on my jackets last night. I have my genderfluid and pansexual flags on the string thingies of this black hoodie I’m wearing. I also have a small rainbow on the sleeve. Lol, I made it too small. I’m working on rainbows for this white jacket. I’m pretty excited. 

I made a transgender picture of Steven, my snake. It’s pretty cool. It’ll be in my drawing book.