@LokiSimp-89 I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish I had some poignant thing I could say to make it seem okay. There’s nothing anyone can say but I will say this:
Be angry, be sad, be joyful, whatever feeling arises it’s okay to feel it. Don’t feel guilty for laughing, or crying or feeling nothing at all. Death is difficult and there is no guidebook on how to handle it. There is no right or wrong in these situations, we all grieve differently. Lastly you have people who are here for you, use us if needed. We love you.