Ashley__Writes

LOL hey gang, cant believe im back on here but fr... wazzuppp. I'm cooler now, I swear. Here, check out my awesome glow up, both in writing and art... and my face ig. Send hate if u want
          
           https://www.instagram.com/starmi1ez/ 
          
          https://www.instagram.com/lumionyx_?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

We know eachother? 

 [☆•.*       hey, i just want you to know;
          dont be down. keep your head up high
          youre amazing, be the best
          at being you and have a good day.       *.•☆]
          
          in fact, have a PLUS ULTRA day! :) :) :) :)

PART THREE:
          They of course comforted me, gave me milk to drink, and told them untold stories that was very different from the ones I told them (stories where I purposely left the parts where I was sweating bullets during one performance, and wanting to cry and die) them telling their own experiences in turn, which comforted me, and I proceeded to tell them that not everyone has the same viewpoint in life, and has very different experiences, when they mentioned that they were sorry that they brushed it off as shyness back then... I honestly don’t blame them. Parenting’s hard man. And psychology? Please.
          
          Anyways, they said they’ll assign me therapy if it gets worse, but in the meantime they’ll be more sensitive about my privacy and is now aware of my “charging days” (aka just me locked in my room the whole week after a social event of any sort) we’ve bonded, talked, laughed... it’s really sweet of them to try, even if it’s a bit of a clumsy attempt. So yeah. It’s amazing. I can depend on my family and confide in them more comfortably now. 
          
          Life’s great.

PART TWO:
          In the name of curiosity, I decided to watch it, and hazza hazza my suspicions were confirmed... though I may not have been professionally diagnosed, I recognised the signs immediately, then realised if even if I DON’T have it, it may develop into a bigger problem later on... so, own day, it just blurted out of my mouth while I was cleaning my parent’s room, them complaining how lazy I was, even though I was emotionally exhausted, (and honestly who can blame them? I never told them about it in the first place, scared that they’ll just shrug it off and go yell at me to do my homework or something... so while they were talking to me casually, I just sort of kept muttering about how I’m going to need therapy when I’m older, them asking me about it and me chalking it up to nothing... eventually, my dad started noticing, since he was the parent I was probably based off of the most, telling me to rest if I feel tired. I explained to him that I was emotionally tired, and then started explaining how I would get so tired from daily stress and fear of being embarrassed in public, people judging, people whispering behind my back, and trying to socialise. I also explained to them that I’ve kind of struggled with this issue even BEFORE quarantine, but just worsened over time due to the lack of human contact and friends. I then proceeded to breakdown (cue fortnite default dance) having a panic attack how I suspected I may have social anxiety, or is at least starting to slowly manifest
          

PART ONE (because it’s too long): Imagine cringing at ur 4-days-ago message... issues who? Anyways fridge my last announcement cause Im probably the most indecisive person I know... so now I’m going to spill the 3 month old tea I have so-
          
          I am currently working through my slowly getting worse social anxiety... with my parents- I know, shocking. I’m quite happy that I told them about it actually; they were quite supportive and caring, not brushing it off as shyness anymore (though they are still new to the whole parenting thing seeing as they’re still blaming the phone for it, but they’re trying). Ive been really exhausted for the past two months, just laying in bed, wondering why I’m so exhausted even though I never did anything for the whole week, then BOOM!! YouTube algorithm gave me an answer: “Seven signs you may have social anxiety” 
          
          

wHat’s this? Black pfp? No bio? 
          
          No one cares really but just in case- no, I am not trying to be edgy, but at this point I don’t want to associate myself with my... 2020 self.
          The only thing keeping me from deleting this account is I want some kind of memento from my teenage years cause I know it won’t last long... I’m hoping that oen day I can look back on this account and just cringe.
          
          I’m kind of done with Wattpad anyways, so... hurrraay..?
          
          -ash
          

in commemoration for the online death of @IvanaWtf i have almost binged watched of all the anime she has recommended me and gushed to me about. may you rest in peace.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

@Artistic_Halfblood yES