AsianWaffle

This is like my personal blog :3

April 29, 2018: Part 2
          
          Now flash back to after we dissected the heart it was lunch time for me. I was waiting for my friends at the table but most of them went to redo a test during lunch without telling me and I killed 25 minutes waiting for them. By then, everyone who wanted food got food and I was the last one in the lunch line. After scanning my ID I went into the cafeteria and saw that the dish I usually got had run out and that the rest of the food was terrible meat dishes. Keep in mind that I just dissected a pig's heart so I just wasn't up to eat meat at lunch. The only thing in front of my eyes that was not meat related was a huge tray of fries and I thought that maybe, instead of getting a burger with fries, I could get just fill my plate with entirely fries. Besides, I was the last one to get lunch and if I didn't get those fries, they'd probably throw it all away. It'd be such a waste. 
          
          Thinking that my idea was brilliant I walked up to lunch lady A and said, "Hi, I was wondering if I could get just a plate full of fries because all I really want was fries" She didn't straight out say no but she said something in a really quiet voice. I asked her to repeat herself multiple times and she kind of got fed up with me and took me to lunch lady B. Apparently what the lunch lady A had said was, "You can get fries with a PB&J sandwich but you cannot just get fries." So lunch lady A asked lunch lady B  if I can have a PB&J and she's like no, we ran out of that. So I stood there, with a, can I just get fries face.
          
          They both scolded me and said, "If you just wanted fries you should've just bought some at the Snack Bar." I was getting irritated. Why don't they just let me have the a plate of fries because nobody else is going to eat them except me.
          
          None less I just gave up because it would be embarrassing to get a detention over fries. After refunding my lunch money, I went to the snack bar and guess what they ran out of, fries.

April 20, 2018: Part 1
          
          Let me tell you guys a story about what happened to me on April 17, 2018. On this particular Tuesday I was determined to make it a good day for my Mom since it was her special day. Whilst nothing bad happened to her, bad things happened to me that may have dampened my mood. So during my Human Physiology class we were dissecting a pig's heart. It never crossed my mind about how big a pigs heart could be but oh my goodness was it one big ass heart. It was as bigger than my hand fully extended. Like the girls in my dissecting group said, "we basically got the whole pig." I'm not one to shy away from dissecting because I think it's so cool and in my own weird way it's kind of like a mini surgery. But this is the one exception where I thought I might actually become vegan. So flash forward to that night, when we went to eat a Texas Roadhouse for my Mother's birthday and I got steak, I was so repulsed to eat it. This was the first time I've ever been repulsed by meat in my life.

1. I always feel lonely and depressed.
          
          It sucks because I always think that I’m worthless and shouldn’t feel the way I feel. I have my best friends but even then, I can’t even rely on them. I don’t know if I’m just being superficial or not but when I think of having a best friend I think it’s a teamwork type of situation. To me, being best friends is being able to share how we feel with each other, having similar interest, and being supportive of one another. Despite having such beliefs, my best friends barely fit into that category. I always wonder why I feel so lonely and depressed when I have my best friends. Then I realized something, we rarely say how we feel. In fact, we rarely talk at all. It almost seems like we are just acquaintances during school but after that, we don’t talk. We just, don’t have anything to talk about except school related things and we don’t even hang out. Like I definitely want to hang out, even yesterday I tried to talk to everyone about going ice skating but it seems like they’re either really busy or don’t want to do anything. I try so hard, but it’s like nobody is even trying. All I want is just someone I can talk to and being able to talk about the hard things in life. I want someone to depend on me like I depend on them. I just feel like I failed at making friends. I don’t even know why I care so much. I start to think I did something wrong. Was I a bad friend? Did I fail them? Is it me? I mean I try to talk to them. I try so very hard to do something with them but in the end I’m disappointed. Are my expectations too high? Sometimes, I even think that I need to change how I act. Like should I just be someone who expresses the need for attention because I’m so weak or what? Are my feelings even valid? Am I just a waste of space? Am I?

How I Generally Feel
          
          1.	I always feel extremely lonely and depressed. 
          2.	I always get jealous.
          3.	I’m a perfectionist.
          4.	I’m really anxious, especially at socializing.
          5.	I doubt myself a lot and have no confidence in myself.
          6.	I feel so useless and worthless.
          7.	I question my existence.
          8.	I’m scared about being alone.
          9.	I need help but don’t get any because it’s scary.
          10.	I don’t have anything I want to do with in life. I don’t have any talents or ambitions in life.
          11.	I’m ungrateful.
          12.	I’m really sensitive.
          13.	I have a lot of irrational fears.
          14.	I want to help others but I can’t even help myself.
          15.	I am stubborn and spoiled.
          16.	I say things but don’t really need them.
          17.	I’m not satisfied with myself and am really hard on myself.
          18.	I have ideals and if it isn’t met, I’m disappointed.
          19.	I feel like nobody cares about my existence.
          20.	I feel like nobody understands me at all and I can’t depend on anyone.
          21.	I’m selfish.
          22.	I don’t trust people.

Let me just complain about a certain teacher that I used to have. That teacher is my English III Honors teacher. Honestly that teacher is a really nice teacher. She's great at holding a conversation and very understanding but in all honestly that's it. Thanks to her, I've come to realized what really irks me about teachers. One thing that really irks me is when teachers don't clarify their instructions and is extremely terrible at giving directions!
          
          For example, one day, my English III Honors teacher assigned the class a project to create a map of the most important places in the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn using quotes as evidence.  Her instructions were, get in a group of 3-4 people to design a map, make sure you use 10 quotes, and have at least two 3-dimensional objects on your map. 
          
          On the day that it was due, everyone was getting ready to present their maps to the class.One of my classmates spoke to my teacher with concern and said, "A friend of mine who's in your 1st period class said that they did 20 quotes but with us you said that all we need is 10 quotes. So now I'm confused, is it 10 quotes or 20?" 
          
          My teacher then responds with, "The minimum is 10 quotes if you want a passing score you if you want a good score you need more than 10." 
          
          We were panicking and my classmate replied back saying, "But you mean the minimum of 10 quotes to get an A right? Because when you told us that we needed 10 quotes we thought that 10 quotes is the minimum for an A!"
          
          My teacher proceeds to shake her head no and says, "No it's the minimum to get a passing grade, a C!"
          
          The whole class was in chaos, saying how unfair it was that she didn't clarify that earlier! It was so upsetting because everyone was about to get a C at best when my teacher spoke up and said, "Since there was this misunderstanding I will move your project so that it is due on Monday! But let me warn you now that now when I say my criteria you should go above and beyond since this is an honors class!"

I never really realized but since barely anyone looks at my page I think I'm just going to make this "conversation" section my "Weird Stories About Random Days of My Life!"

December 7, 2017
          
          Poop. A normal part of life. But today had to be the shittiest day of my life (literally). So my mom always parks her car where birds always come and poop. Well I was going to piano lessons today and when Ari got out of the car and closed it, I touched bird poop. It was gross so I come inside my teachers house to wash my hands and there were students before me who came in a group of 3 (1 little girl and 2 teenage boys). So I walk in and made an observation that the oldest wasn’t there. My thought was “He’s either in the bathroom or he’s not here for lessons .” Without much thinking though I assumed that if he was here in the bathroom he’d be old enough to lock it. So there I am, and I barge in but to my horror I see a thigh and quickly closed the door and ran out. I was horrified. A teenage boy didn’t lock the bathroom door. Since then, I never made eye contact with him and it was just weird & instead used sanitary wipes for my hands. Then after the lessons I went into my moms car and suddenly had the urge to take a really bad combo #2. It was the worst and my stomach was about to explode when finally we arrived. I took care of my business and swore not to eat food that was greasy so I settled for soup. Then after we ate we went to target and low and behold I got out of my car so fast and in the,process of doing so I touched that bird poop again. That meant I had to wash my hands and I did. Then while in target I had to take another bad #2 and rushed home. When I got home, I then again also touched the bird poop again closing the door...
          

November 23, 2017
          
          Let me tell you something. I don’t know whose feels more sick, the person whose drunk and is puking or me, the witness whose seeing it and wants to puke too. I guess I can say it’s probably worse for the drunk but I’m actually traumatized with the events I’ve seen today. So today was thanksgiving and obviously what do my cousins and there partners decide to do? They decide to play drinking games, which wouldn’t be so bad if two of my cousins could handle alcohol well. My sister and I came back before they did but when they came back let’s just say those 2 cousins are puking like crazy and one of my cousin’s partners were so drunk they tripped out of the Uber and ended up hitting their head on the concrete & bled all over the place. The best part is this is like 11:30 at night and we’re trying to be so discrete about this whole incident. *sigh* So only the chill & youngest Uncle & Aunt know but we can’t tell the other aunts and uncles because they would flip. *hides in the corner* And here I am just finish writing an English The Great Gatsby Project like the good student who comes in early from the party, didn’t drink (mostly cause I can’t), and got ready for bed after finishing homework.... 

November 3, 2017
          
          Today was just like any other day when it’s that time of the month. I was in the girl’s bathroom during lunch with my friends and we were the only ones there. I go into the stall and start changing the feminine towel when suddenly a girl walks in laughing. I couldn’t see her face but she heads straight for the stall next to me. Already in my head I thought it was weird because there was some nasty  stuff in that toilet so why would anybody go there. Suddenly, a hand sticks out under my stall. I thought the girl was asking for a pad since my backpack was on the floor but wasn’t sure so I said “uhh” and the girl responded back with an “uhh” and laughed again. Then, that girl proceeds to do the unexpected which was actually stick her head under the stall and stare at me . Like oh my god. To make matters worse I was changing my freaking pad and it was just really uncomfortable. She then proceeds to get out of the stall next to me, stand for a good minute in front of my stall and peak through the crack to see me. Like  On the corner my friends just stood outside doing nothing and I was just so flabbergasted, like come on do something. So the girl finally leaves and washes her hands. On her way out according to my friend she didn’t even dry her hands, just splattered water from her dripping hands onto my one friend and just left the bathroom. When the door shuts I yelled from my stall “WHO WAS THAT?” And my friends say “It’s one of the special ed’s girl.” When they said that I wasn’t really mad but just too shocked at the events that just took place.... The worst part was I was contemplating wether or not to change that pad because I could hold another few hours but no, I decided to be really hygienic that day....