BlockyWedge

Asetria-Lee, I'm curious if you want to collab on a story, I'm also pretty young (disclosing age is sometimes reckless) and if you are up for anything you can send a email, my email is in about page.

Asteria-lee

@BlockyWedge I would love to but right now i can only like focus on one story. I'll let you know when it's time
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BlockyWedge

The offer is still up. Take your time.
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BlockyWedge

Heya! It seems you’re new just like me, I’m curious if we could help each other! No ill intentions and you can decide. You can also check out my works if curious.

Asteria-lee

@BlockyWedge Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts.
            English isn't my first language, so it's quite hard for me, i’m still learning, so this gives me a lot to think about. Thank you so much. I'll try my best and take your advice! ☺️ I can't wait to read your story.
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BlockyWedge

I’ll end my pointers on an open ended thought for now, “If you could write a story, would it be about you, others, or a dream?”
            
            By the way pace yourself with words and phrases, make sure not to bloat, stay on track, and fragment your stories. When using different formats from paragraph to dialog, make it alternating to give readers a feeling of whats happening. When looking at action, you can tell yourself, “If I was here, would I say something or continue?”
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BlockyWedge

Sure! I’ll give a few quick pointers.
            
            Professionalism: In a normal story, quotation marks would be of use. 
            Insights: I see that you’re using more of a back-forth LARP situation you would see in a RP game. 
            Grammar: With a quick skim, I see a lot of faults, a lot of which can be fixed without much effort 
            Refine to a Purpose: When you add characters, elements and events, tell yourself “How does this contribute to my narrative?”
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