nov21

Okay, I've only got 2000 characters so I'd better make this short: I'm a magical leprechaun from Narnia. You may have a lot of questions about this shocking new information, but I'll try to answer as many as I can right now. I was born in a cave around the back of Mount Rushmore. Is that how you spell it? Oh well. My mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries. They had travelled very far after they escaped Belarus. Don't ask why they had to escape. They were a bit drunk. Anyway, my mother was pregnant and she went into labour in a rather awkward spot. I grew up in the streets of New Mexico and one day I made an astonishing discovery. I, AsumireV, was a leprechaun. You may be wondering how I hadn't noticed sooner. Well, while I was wandering around New Mexico, I never bothered to look at my reflection. I was a stupid child. I should have guessed by my green clothes and ginger beard. I had even developed a longing for gold at the age of 18 months. I guess my parents never told me because they thought I already knew. I moved to Narnia when I was two years old because my parents had died in a hamster wheel accident. My human pack mule, Patsy, suggested we go there after we decided that Camelot was far too silly. Patsy knew where we could find a magic wardrobe, so we were set. We bought a house in Narnia for a measly 2 000 000 000 rupees. Little did I know of its werewolf problem. The basement was completely infested. We had to hire 42 pixies to clean out the place. I spent my time reading the complete Encyclopedia Britannica whilst waiting for the werewolves to get out. That was 70 years ago today. About 1 month ago, I came across a website named Wattpad. I was intrigued, so I made an account. Which brings us to this fine day of November. I am afraid we must part now, but know that you'll be in my heart for eternity. My love for you burns with the intensity of a thousand suns. Goodbye, my love. Stay gold.

Yours truly,

AsumireV


(P.S., CHOO CHOO!)