Well hi there!
I'd love to give your story a read, when I have the time. Unfortunately, I currently have a lot of work to do, so I don't know when I'll be able to get around to it. I have to admit that I don't typically read manga/anime, so I don't entirely understand it, but I'll do my best.
Obviously, you're always more than welcome to check out my writing, too, and constructive criticism would be wonderful, if you want to/have the time.
Have a nice day!