I am so sorry everyone for not having been on in a long time, this year was a rough year. I found out in January my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she was in and out of the hospital due to treatment and med mix ups. Things started to look okay for the most part then it went downhill starting in May. I found out earlier this month she would be lucky if she even made it to the end of the month. I was finally able to go see her and it killed me because she was a huge part of my life and she was home stuck in a hospital bed, I was lucky if in total I got maybe 15 minutes of her being coherent. I kept in touch with my grandfather every day, checking in on her and my grandfather and then June 9th came, I was able to say I love you and I miss you that morning but that night I got the news she was gone, I was able to say my final goodbyes but it has been very hard dealing with this grief. It's been two weeks and I am not all there mentally, I am absolutely heart broken so please bear with me through this journey