Ayame_Raine

Heyo, guys! I've finally reincarnated as @AyametheWriter. Nothing up yet, but we'll see soon.

Hey guys! I'll be moving to a new Wattpad account soon and I'll be starting a new book with updates on my personal life. I'll be sure to share my new account info with you soon!

Leaving for college Saturday. I'm not really active on here, as you can see. I won't be able to update much if at all since I don't have my own computer. I don't know if I need to, though. I don't know. Lots of stuff has happened, and I'm ready to move on with my life. We'll honestly see.

I don't really feel the need to update for awhile, if at all. I did get a tattoo, but not even I week later we put my other cat down. He had been with me for 16 years of my life... Both of my cats are gone, and I'm not okay. Once I leave this town, I'll never emotionally/mentally/spiritually coming back. There's nothing left for me here except years and years of pain.

My "best friend" made every excuse not to go to my one friend's graduation party, even though I offered her a ride. Then she lied to our friend and said she asked me for a ride but it was too late. If you didn't want to go, don't fricking bring me into it. It's not me who has to explain why she didn't come to one of our last gatherings as a group. That's all on her. I am really upset with her right now.

Square Enix is hosting a players' survey right now. Check it out. They're even having a contest with it.
          
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/SQUAREREF

I swear I'm not dead! I've just had a lot of nothing and everything going on lately. I'll try to update sooner than later.

Tomorrow is the big day. Graduation. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I'll have an update soon.

I keep hoping that the stuff relating to my cat was just a dream. My brain hasn't fully processed it. Things keep reminding me that everything that has happened has happened...
          
          I don't want to put her down. I don't want to see her sleeping form even though I know she won't actually be sleeping... I don't want to go to feed my pets and not hear her incessant meowing. I never want to wake up and not see her adorable little face... I don't want her to go. I know things will only get worse from here, but I just don't want to do it... It's all up to me and all I feel is guilt... I feel helpless...
          
          I just don't want to see her go. She was supposed to live forever... Why now? Why not my 17-year-old cat rather than her...? She's only 11... I feel horrible saying that, but I love her so much... Not that I don't love my other cat, but it's different... She's my baby...
          
          I don't know what to do... I know I need to before the summer truly starts, but I don't want her to go... At the same time I know I need to do it sooner than later so that I can begin healing... I just wish this was all a dream.

I'm excited and nervous to give my graduation speech tomorrow in front of my English class. I'm going to enter it into the picking pool for reading it at graduation, so we'll see how all of that goes.
          
          Wish me luck!