I've been trying to manage my health, it's been nearly 4 years since I devolved into the state I currently am in.
Nothing has been driving me, not even writing, music. Nothing.
It's as if... I have been consumed by fire and just living life alone, cold, heartless, empty anything I could explain my environment right now.
Coupled with addictions, it's been tiring and exhausting nearly 4 years of my life potentially undiagnosed but showing clear signs I'm not okay.
I haven't spoken to anyone for a large part about how I am fearing vulnerability except for a single person who comforts me.
I'm still holding strong, I'm holding on still but yeah just been living my life on down and things that make me happy i sense is there for me to cope and get out of my low battery mode that is fighting off supposedly undiagnosed depression which sometimes I can show subtlety but no one will notice.
I still hold my word that Volume 1 of Married Life: Karuizawa Kei will be done by the end of this year it's just about putting my mind on it.
I hope I don't tear anyone up but I... Yeah, I'll end my typing here.