Ayda_yas

No it hurts. It kills me. She thought..
          Of corse he'd never find me nothing more than a dude of his. I'm not that beautiful like those girls he knows. On the other hand,I was okay. I was pretty. 
          But! 
          I knew him like none of this bitches did. I knew his favorite songs and he shares with me his fears and hos dreams. I have to be special. 

She can't take this anymore! It hurts. 
          Her head will explode from the overthinking,him there and here at every single corner in her mind. "GET OUT!" She hissed. Whenever she closes her eyes,she pictures him hugging her,holding her.. What is he waiting for? Why can't he lover her? She was right for him. She was everything he needed. He was too stubborn and paranoid to take a step forward. She was trying her best to ignore him and distant herself.
          However,he was her best-friend..she was struggling to hold herself from talking to him. It was killing her not to update him with her new events,to send her new picture, to share her thoughts with him. She couldn't think straight. 
          This is too much. She's strong tho,she has to hold on..she has to fight these feelings. She has to let go.   

and she kept poking her heart numerous times harshly,as tears were streaming down her face,while she was blaming herself ; " You stupid idiot! why did you let down your guard?! why did you let him in! it's not where he should belong! he doesn't deserve to be here! GET HIM OUT OF HERE! " 

It's not like She was okay. Hell no,she wasn't! She was suffering every single moment. She needed him as she needed oxygen to breathe. This had to stop. Her subconscious slapped her and blamed her for falling for him. She knew he was trouble. She knew he didn't love her but poor her. What can she do? These are feelings which she can't control. She needs to distance herself from him just to lessen the obsession. She became addicted to the idea of them being together. However,that was just an illusion. An illusion which happened to suffocate her. An illusion which was tied to her ankle, disallowing her wings to fly. There was a fragment of hope,which she created. She was lost in nowhere trying to figure out what to do. Maybe she should give up or maybe she should not. It was one thing she was certain of,she needed to get rid of the pain.

As if I'd give a shit about you!

My empire of dirt.