Oh gosh. It’s been such a long time since I’ve been to this account. And I reread Flower Of Despair — words cannot describe how much I want to REWRITE it. I recently started reading more, doing poetry, and started improving my writing. And now that I look back at FOD, I cringe so hard I can’t even make it to chapter 50.
The main reason I want to rewrite it is mainly because of Yemi. I genuinely hate how I wrote her character in this book. Not to mention I felt like I was putting too much attention on her rather than my other OCs.
I felt like I should put all characters in the spotlight — since they’re all the main characters. And I wanted them to get character development.
My biggest example is Kazuko. I wanted her to have major character development by getting in touch with her emotions — and experiencing them. I wanted her to evolve from cold, distant, emotionless character to cheerful, kind, and gentle. Since, Haruka, Nakano, and Yemi were somewhat her role models — and were supposed to be the ones that helped with her development.
And don’t even get me started on how I wrote Haruka. Gosh she deserves so much more better. Her character is literally written so horribly I want to gouge my eyes out.
And I didn’t write Nakano good either. Well, short story I wrote my characters horribly. I didn’t plan ahead — instead I went with the flow , and then the second I hit chapter 60 I paused and decided I didn’t want them to be like that.
I wanted Yemi to spiral down more and more to the point where she’s completely unhinged. And I wanted it to be subtle, and show more light later when you get deeper in the story. But I failed at that, lmao.
I also realize I’ve been ranting about how horrible my only book is. If you read this entire rant, I’m sorry. I just had to get this off my chest. So yeah, I’m probably going to rewrite FOD, or I’m just going to leave it unfinished. Sorry.
