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Do u ever blame yourself for something that someone else did but you feel guilty because you weren't there with them for there last moments alive well in my case i blame myself for my dog death because if i hadn't left the front door open then he wouldn't have gotten sick and died i blame myself for not being there with him for his last moments alive i blame myself for everything that happen that night for not being with him for while he was suffering and for not signing his cross i blame myself for being so fucking dumb. I have new dogs and i love them but I js can't get over the fact that my dog that was my baby my everything my whole life, he was the reason why i'm still here but now he's gone all because of me crazy right? I told him i wouldn't let noting happen to him but now he's not here, ik he wants me to be happy but i can't i mean out of my family i loved and i still do love him but i loved him so fucking much that it hurts knowing i will never be able to say bye i js want 5 more mins with him is that so hard to ask for he left me that's how life is but it was so sudden it was so sudden i thought i was getting pranked till i seen my dad bury him it was in oct but it still hurts im trying my best to stop crying about it but i can't it hurts so much that i can't even love my two new dogs with thinking about him. He was 3 yrs old why, did have to leave me he was so young, so weak, so scared, yet I prayed and prayed for him to live and be well soon but i guess God didn't hear me. Im srry but any books will be removed besides one, I relized i don't like writing that much anymore and I might seem happy but im not in fact i think a lot of ppl these aren't happy. Happy new years ig 1,725 words