If I could be one thing in all of existence, it would definitely be a snail, but then I would want to be reborn as a cat in the same garden as my previous carnation, then I would eat myself, after I die from eating myself as a snail, I want to be reborn as a child who owned myself as a cat. 

Then I could cry as I watched myself die as a cat, from eating me as a snail. 

(c" ತ,_ತ)
But then I would write a book about myself as the cat eating myself as the snail while human child me watched.