Babyboy128

You now would've been 23....sorry I missed your birthday... I'm so busy.. And I'm kinda losing my own hope sitting here... Screaming into the vivid ocean of my own thoughts... I forget to do things... I'm slowly going back to square own but my family is pushing for something to help me.. 

Hey hon it's been a while.. A lot has happened... I miss you dearly, I just wish you were still here... Just... Living by my side... Holding your hand and getting to see your face one in a while... 

I can't sleep sometimes... Sometimes I skip meals... I'm sorry... It's selfish of me... But... At this point no one can understand the screams I have... How my mind unravels at the thought of losing you, it plays back in my mind sometimes... I cry... That's the only time I cry.. 

I can't sleep sometimes... Sometimes I skip meals... I'm sorry... It's selfish of me... But... At this point no one can understand the screams I have... How my mind unravels at the thought of losing you, it plays back in my mind sometimes... I cry... That's the only time I cry.. 

Been so busy I couldn't get back to ya.... Your 22 now... Should be... God I fucking miss you so much... It hurts me when I meet people who actually like you.. I cant keep them or have them... They all lie with their filthy venomous words... I wish you were alive.. I'd give my flesh up just to even hear your voice 

Well your 21 now... Time flies so fast I just can't seem to grasp onto it tightly.. Sometimes I feel it leave my clutches only for the echoes of the damned to laugh at me, I've tried to make things better... I try to be happier but it's hard... God I miss you so much.. And I'm sorry I didn't celebrate your past birthdays... I was in the army when it happened.. I got really upset that I couldn't do anything about it... 

Well Alfie here it is.. I've grown quite a bit... I'm off to the army in a couple of days... It's gonna suck.. I hope you are watching me from above.. Make sure I don't mentally break.. 

Hey... I know.. That.. Today isn't the day.. But you died tomorrow.. On that day... I'm so sorry... But I love you a lot.. I'll always keep you in my memories... I'm so sorry.... I wait I could have SOME closure.. Soon.. I'll have it in my grasp.. 

Happy birthday... Your 19 now.. Or supposed... To be... I'm going insane Alfie.... Please.. Wait.. For me... I don't want to be alone.. I want you here.. Cuddling me... I wouldn't care even if it costs me my sanity.. 

I'm glad I'm only here to remember you.. The other one ran away didn't want to face you.. He's such a loser.. But I'm always happy your here.. Even if your in the ground... I wish I could join you