Bagel

@dicexcedia yeh it's a good story line, characters and plot are cool as well. Take some time to read the books u base it one and get a feel for the writing style and how they lay it out cuz that will help a lot. If you want anymore advice just send me a part and i can give u a few more tips. Don't stop you will get better. 

thanks allot for the tip :D. . appreciated it . thanks :P . . its my first book and im not good in english. but i did try my best. how was it ? :D

hi there. try my book. its tittle is Excedia :D