Help I'm

What would we even call american aushwitz? Walmart?

I'm about to wield 2 Monsters akimbo and see if I die from kidney failure

Team "perceives every conceivable intricacy of a song from 2 miles away" but also "huh? (I heard every word you said)"

I just realized I haven't eaten anything in 32 hours

I love being evil but also very bad at it

Damn, for someone so hilarious I sure am bitchless

Keep talking shit like that and I'll ping ur pong buddy

Officer: "have you had anything to drink tonight sir?"
          
          Me putting on my american flag sunglasses and putting the car in gear: "wouldn't be here if I hadn't buddy"

"Non-lethal", yeah right, anything's lethal in the hands of an insane man

Playing geometry dash in the shower is an experience everyone should try