Ballinandcantgetup

Busting a nut without my commanding officer's approval, call that a dishonorable discharge

I ain't taking any nudes, if you want naked pictures of me come take them yourself

Just cranked my hog with tchaikovsky playing on the background, busted the most malicious and evil nut of my life

Another Fun Fact!: we can see you, stop moving

Why is every commercial for Levi's just scenes of people's asses? Like I'm not complaining but I feel like there's gotta be another way to market jeans

I must be inertia the way I'm in a constant state of motion

I be using both my hands in bed call that ambisextrous

If you ever wanna have a great time, don't sleep for 2 days and watch megamind

I'm such a good bf fr, she tells me to stfu and I do cause I love her ❤️

Is it really to much to ask for a hot girl to choke the life out of me