Chapter 1 - Love is Cruel 
If this gets to the top of the Wattpad's charts alongside my good friends' Hetalia fanfic, I will personally be the father you never had.
Balls tied up like a noose on a cold winter evening; I strained to free myself from her holy grasp. Now you may be thinking. How did I get into this situation... well it all started when I met HER.

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She was a beauty; gothic, yet wore her heart on her sleeves. Her balls dangled out... they really stunk. She also kind of looked like an NFT of a monkey smoking marujauna. But I could get past that, for her. I would do anything for her. I worshiped her even more than I worshiped my own mother, or for that matter, our Lord and Savior P.G. for that matter she enjoyed expensive things, things like lifelike balls she would use to decorate her home with, it's what I loved about her. She was so creative and quirky  (she loved hyping herself up through joke fics) she often read sexy first with her boyfriend Peter G I loathed Peter G the bastard, we all went to college together he stole my girl Gertrude right from under my nose, of course I was high on methamphetamines but That's beside the point mm methamphetamine tasted like a summer morning, just like her delicious ballsacks. I never got over the drug, I was drunk on her love I never did meth again she made me feel the way methamphetamine did but maybe that's bad idk. That was a true symbol of what Gertrude would do to me later... the hell she raised. Alongside that bastard, Peter G. She did cheat on him alot but she'd never do that with me cause I'm too nice and really smoking hot (sexy) lie. When I was growing up I used to be bullied because of my name Sandy because it was spelled wrong not because it's a girls name. My full name was Sandy Cheeks cause my cheeks were so sandy; representative of the fat ass I pulled around with me. When I entered a room, my juicy cheeks would come