@BanditTheNickit It’s a shame what happened to you, but I hope you have the DETERMINATION to keep pursuing your passions. I hope you find much better people. Reading that you were literally put in the spotlight just to play into their hands is a disgrace, and the person who was supposed to be a bridge between you was either a puppet or incompetent, I’d say.
I hope you’ll feel better in the future—breaks are necessary, and mental health is often underestimated by many. From personal experience, during my driver’s license training at the driving school, even though they knew about a problem I’d had since birth (nothing physical or too serious), the guy who taught my brother asked me why I hadn’t told him and look him in the eyes—I had just turned 18 and didn’t know certain things—and he asked them to look him in the face, and I felt insulted. Afterward, I went home almost in tears; I felt deeply insulted, and I know it’s his job, but I felt exposed. In fact, my brother handed him the final documents, and he told me that the guy at the driving school had apologized and was concerned about why I hadn’t come in person to hand in the documents. Other than that, everything was normal. Then the driving instructors were stressed out—maybe because of my phobia, or even my mom’s—and so on.
At least I had my passions during stressful times, like the soundtracks for *Cry of Fear*, *Stalker*, and *Metro* (which have that unique spirituality flair that only Eastern Europe has), and a renewed discovery of content like PMD fanfic and comics. But starting to comment opened me up to talking online, so in a way, I sometimes thank you for that
Okay, I hope I didn’t say anything stupid, and that you can now get back to your hobbies and passions, and may God help you in the future. I sharing my experience was just to say that I know how it feels to have a spotlight shining on you, perhaps exposing you. It might be ridiculous, but anyway, good luck bandit.