•Bee_Lover_Flower•

How come life doesn't feel christmassy. It was so christmas when I was younger but now it just feels empty. How do I make it more like christmas?

It's been 2 months. Hello. How is everyone doing.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! For halloween i dressed up as Jane Doe and my friends dressed up as Beetlejuice & Lydia, and Alexander Hamilton. Four musical characters, Two dead people, one revived, and one alive. Perfect balance.

FINISHED WATCHING HAMILTON. amazing musical, enjoyed it a lot. 100/10
          
          I've ALREADY watched: Spongebob The Musical, Ride The Cyclone, Heathers, Be More Chill, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, Black Friday, Nerdy Prudes Must Die, Hamilton, Newsies, Legally Blonde, SIX, Little Shop Of Horrors, and Number Nerds.
          
          On the "TO WATCH SOON LIST": Phantom Of The Opera, Les Misérables, Dear Evan Hansen, and Falsettos.
          
          Any other musical recommendations?
          
          Sidenote: If you celebrate Halloween, what are you halloweening as. Trick or Treating, Partying, or just dressing up, who are you going as. I'm headed out as Jane Doe from RTC and one of my friends is going to be Alexander Hamilton.

Almost finished with the entire Hatchetfield series. I'm only missing out on all the Nightmare time episodes after Perky Buds/Absentince Camp or whatever it was named. Black Friday, Nerdy Prudes Must Die, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, Working Boys, and Nightmare Time season 1 have all been finished.

I need musical recommendations before summer runs out. Quick! I need anything to add to my list
          
          I've ALREADY watched: Spongebob Musical, Ride The Cyclone, Heathers, To Be Chill, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals. Halfway through Nerdy Prudes Must Die, Newsies, and thats it.
          
          Go on and give me yr best. (Yes i have not watched/finished hamilton, yes i will be finishing it one of these days.)

story time! like during my summer, i think i almost passed out but i dont know why and am looking here for an explaination.
          
          so i was in a arcade with my family when all of a sudden my ears started ringing. i couldnt hear anything at that point and was just thinking it was normal because my ears ring all the time for no reason. then i started seeing black dots clouding my vision and i knew something was wrong. i went outside and the cold air soothed the feeling but i still felt lightheaded. 
          
          one possible reason is maybe dehydration? i didnt feel thirsty at all but i hadnt drank anything all day. usually when your dehydration you feel parched and dry like a desert right? i didnt feel that and when i drank water, i just didnt feel thirsty for it. thats the only reason i could think of but i dont know. any reasons why i almost passed out that day?

One thing I mention in my last post but slightly continued on. (You don’t have to read last post to understand this one because it’s an entirely different topic.)
          
          Why the heck are there rumors going around in my school that I’m gay and trans? Going to be straight up, I completely support you guys if you are but I’m not and it keeps getting forced on to me. 
          
          Two grades ago, me and this girl talked a lot and I kept jokingly flirting with her bc that’s what you do with friends and she did it back. Then everyone started saying we liked each other then I got shipped with like 5 other people in my class. It was just a wacky year.
          
          The trans rumor came from the fact I hung out with a lot of guys these upcoming grades. The only thing about it is I did it out of self force than actual liking of them. They annoy the crap outta me and say the worst things that you can possibly imagine but I force myself to be with them because I know no one else and as I said last post I’m not good at keeping friends. Overtime people started to think I wanted to or was trans because I hung out with the guys so much. 
          
          Two things happen and get smushed so now I’m just questioned over and over with are you gay/trans. Idk if I’ll ever escape it to be honest.

Boys confused me so much. Two times, same outcomes, different situations.
          
          1. All the boys in the class got in trouble because some of the girls told on them. (I didn’t get caught even though I did the same thing as them because I was a girl) one of the guys came up to me and my girl friend group and said “I hate all of you. You guys are terrible. Except for you. Your cool.” Pointed at me and walked away. I was happy I was cool but felt bad for my friends. That year was unfair though because the teachers only made the guys get in trouble except for 2 quiet or good boys in my class
          
          2. There was a rumor going away around I was gay and I’m not just for clarification. The people I hang around are like extremely homophobic, sexist, and racist but I’m too scared to leave them because they get offended easily and I don’t want to get bullied. Plus, I don’t know how to make new friends who stay. I can make new friends but they never actually stay to a point where I can call them friends or besties. Anyway, the situation was we were at lunch and sitting together chatting. All of the suddenly one of the guys said “Hey [(NAME)],  if you’re gay, we’re cool with that. You act it enough so we know how you are. We don’t care if you like girls.” Then they go on to talk about how they hate gay people a second later. 
          
          If you understand why guys are like this please tell me. I’m confused and scared. Like I’m happy I’d be accepted if I were but I’m not and I’m not happy that they don’t accept anyone else but me.

I haven't checked my wattpad since May 9th. Its one day from july what the heck. anyway hello good morning good night, hows everyone doing? :))