Bella_Walbrun
Completely unrelated to writing whatsoever, but I think the world needs to know that....
MIRACULOUS, THE MOVIE IS OUT ON NETFLIX!!
Bella_Walbrun
Bella_Walbrun
Thanks to this amazing community, my creative juices have started flowing again and I can't wait to continue to write both here and on my soon-to-be published books. I love you all!
Bella_Walbrun
youguysyouguysyouguys...
I'm BAAAACK!
EnchantedVen0m
Hiii just a reminder that you're doing amazing <33
EnchantedVen0m
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!! :))
Bella_Walbrun
Ahh it's literally my birthday in two days!
I'm turning 15 on April 1 :)
Bella_Walbrun
Lately I've been feeling very disconnected with the fandom. It really scares me sometimes. I've only felt like this a couple of times and always seemed to push through, so i'm sure it'll pass. But it's getting depressing. Nobody ever seems to role-play with me anymore, and that's not the main part of the fandom, obviously, but that's the part that helps keep the gang alive. For a while I've not really minded the silence, but now I realize I've been missing that for so long and I don't know why. I know it's going to sound stupid, but I keep thinking if Ponyboy would actually like me. I don't know why. I think so deeply about this stuff and it's really eating me up inside. And then, of course, the "loneliness" i feel is only making me want a partner in real life, but of course that's not going to fix the fact that I don't know how to carry on with the fandom. It's not that I don't want to, of course I want to, I just don't know how. Because I've been keeping them alive in my head for so long, it's become sort of lonely. I've began to doubt my imagination. Okay, that sounds really weird, because of course it's fake, yes, I know that. But it's real to me. And I wish I could get back into the fandom, the way I used to be. Oh well, i guess they do say that nothing gold can stay. I do know one thing though, I never want to grow up or stop imagining. As I approach my 15th birthday, I really want to stay the same, I know i'm going to change but I want to preserve that "child" inside of me and stay close to the outsiders. please, if anyone has any ideas, that would be great. i just love this fandom too much to give up on it. most people wouldn't understand, but i'm as devoted to this book/movie as a husband would be to his wife. that sounds weird. but I mean really. it's kept me company when i felt alone, brought me to my best friend, it's freaking shaped me who i am. at one point, being "Ponyboy's girlfriend" was all I needed. but now i'm stuck and I don't know what to do.
EnchantedVen0m
@Bella_Walbrun That's exactly right. Nobody else should have control or influence over your life and decisions. I'm glad you had that thought and that it helped you :)
Bella_Walbrun
@EnchantedVen0m Thank you for this, it really helped me more than you will know. Honestly, I was also told that being myself is never bad, so I guess I have to embrace it. And I was walking down the stairs last night and thinking to myself, "Who cares if they think i'm weird, it's my happiness that matters."
EnchantedVen0m
@Bella_Walbrun I don't have a lot of tips, but I relate in a way. Nobody really understood how deep of a connection my imagination was with The Outsiders. It was like they were real. Obviously, I knew they weren't, but it felt real to me. There was so much judgement, so much so that it felt stupid and childish and even just wrong to still have an imagination as I grew up. I started to smother that inner child because I was afraid of how people would react. My imagination has grown weaker, but the more I interacted with you on here, the more my comfortability with existing with The Outsiders sort of returned. I guess the most I can say for advice is to just roll with it. Your inner child isn't your everything, but it's never going to go away, so feed that part of you. Interact as much as you can with the fandom. It might not always feel the same, but it will keep it alive even a little bit. That's the most I can say, I'm still working on things like that myself ,:)
EnchantedVen0m
"It is often the small steps, not the giant leaps, that bring about the most lasting change."
Hi! I hope you're having a wonderful day/night, and if you aren't, feel free to reach out to me anytime! I just wanted to share a quote to remind you that every little thing you do matters. I love you <3
Signed ~
The Advisor and Optimist of the -kindnesscommunity-
EnchantedVen0m
< POST THIS ON YOUR FAVORITE PEOPLES' MESSAGE BOARDS >
Spread the love <3
It's been a while, I hope you're doing okay, just here to give you a quick reminder that ur loved :)
EnchantedVen0m
@Bella_Walbrun Aw, I had no idea. You're very strong. I hope you're feeling better or working toward feeling better. I really did miss you, and I'm really, really glad ur back! :)
Bella_Walbrun
@EnchantedVen0m Awe, really? That actually means a lot to me because in February I was going through a really depressing stage in my life and thought I didn't matter to anyone. just knowing that people I've never even met irl miss me is just...amazing, so thank you. <3 I missed you too
B0xy_Th3_B0x_H3r3
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