I just wanted to come on here and vent a little to get things off my chest. If this sort of thing isn't your thing, Don't worry about reading this...
So I have had really bad mental health for a while now (a couple of years maybe 5-6), to really dark thoughts, depression, and my anxiety just taking over.
There are days I don't want to get up to take care of myself because I just want to lay in bed and cry and just vanish from the world.
I feel as though my Mom, the only parent I have left, stunted me as I grew to where I'm 20 years of age and I feel trapped in my life. She was so late to teaching me things and still hasn't taught me things now to where I can safely leave her house and have some place to go and make a living for myself.
Now my Mom is in no way abusive or meaning to harm me, it's just that her personality isn't the best to be around daily when it's only negativity coming off of her. I think she has a hard time letting go of her kids to where it's unintentionally 'hurting' us/me.
At this point in my life, I just feel I would be happier without her in it and being miles away. But for now I have to put up with this until I figure out how to make money for myself from home to be able to leave since I don't have the means to travel to a job or any where else.
Any who, thank you if you read this some what short rant about my life. I left a lot out since If I typed the whole thing it would just be the story of my life, and how I am feeling.
I know you are just a bunch of randos on the internet, but that makes me somewhat comfortable to vent since I can't really do that without my Mom dismissing it again and my social anxiety would just kill me.
With that I just want a mental break, idk when I'll be back, hopefully it won't take more than a month. I just wanna feel sane for a little bit.
Much Love, Berry <3
(I will still try to post the finished book for COTGE)