BethBud

@YokiLoki :D you're welcome, I love your stories

SheepThatGotAway

@BethBud  thx for voting anf comming my stories. and adding one of them to ur reading lists :3
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Abyssil_Demon

About [(1/2) Can I Ever Love Again?]
          
          I did like the begin idea of your story. Although it need's more detail and your rushing it to much, especially with the character development.  Also your adding thing that don't add up with your character's background. 
          
          If she is as skilled as Kakashi she should be able to handle a Fat Black Smith and be able to read her surrounding and other people by body langue. I understand you wanted kakashi to save her in her time of need. But you should have been more creative {Like he is with the sound ninja and he leads her out of the village for a forest date and then stuff happened's} About the fat black smith don't make him so narrow mind and hate_able. He can still be gross and rude but he should try and hide it especially if he is trying to get something from her. {Sex}
          
          Also if she is a ninja who has a dark past where she was treated like a tool without any hope of a good life. She should get angry/sad and want to run away from him just like she did with the sound ninja clan in the past.
          
          Also you should be telling the audiences/readers more detail's about the different area's and how your characters feels or thinks about the area they are in. {Like if the wall is cold of the light is bright ext...} This all will help you add depth.
          
          (Original good protagonist although your throwing to much fan-girl into it now)
          (Lacks character development)
          (Lacks in Depth analysts)
          (Rushing to get the romance started)
          (Spelling errors don't matter it happens all the time even for me
          same thing with grammar)
          
          I will give you [4/10] It dose have a lot of good points but lacks in to many areas.
          
          P.s. I like your story and i'm just trying to give you constrictive criticism.
          
          P.s.s If you read this comment please responded so I can maybe help you. If you would like me too that is.

BethBud

I really appreciate this criticism and I defiantly agree with the whole "being rushed" thing which led to the poor character development and lack of depth... I'm glad that you're honest with what I need to work on it's really helpful. I'm planning on taking all of these suggestions (future ones too?) in consideration. Again I really appreciate it!
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