BetterLeftUnknown

too busy to do other stuff other than read to relieve stress right now
          	but Since I'm trying to start a book... damn I now fully appreciate how hard it is to write a fricking book, the topic, the cover, the title, the flow, finding errors and crap... I'm too tired have to do other things as well

BetterLeftUnknown

too busy to do other stuff other than read to relieve stress right now
          but Since I'm trying to start a book... damn I now fully appreciate how hard it is to write a fricking book, the topic, the cover, the title, the flow, finding errors and crap... I'm too tired have to do other things as well

BetterLeftUnknown

this message may be offensive 
*sigh*
          I recently just saw a pattern in myself 
          
          just me trying to get my shit together then slowly everything falls apart and i feel like i'm slowing down, becoming depressed, too deep in thought that things just becomes a mess again and after i see how much deep in shit i am  i start to pick things up again, fresh start with a positive mind but then the cycle repeats itself again ...
          
          and i don't know what to do

BetterLeftUnknown

[FORGIVE ME IF THIS ALSO NOTIFIES YOU THIS WILL BE THE LAST :( >_< ]
          
          Explaining to you is hard cause you don't even try to understand it, you put excuses after excuses for everything. if i try to make you understand that just cause you're lesbian doesn't mean you gotta look like a guy or not all gay are so feminine and other things that might make you less more rude about them cause inside, you're hurting me
          
          you ask me why i'm telling you this with the look that says you're very offended cause you think i accused you of not accepting them and then you might cry and i'd feel guilty and apologize then we're back to normal until you see something you just had to say something rude about and the cycle repeats itself. I'm scared and afraid to tell you whatever i am 
          
          i'm sad that you might never know brother... "very well"? idk the word in english so i guess "everything" you don't know where he goes, what he does, or if he might have a family or become a priest, I'm sad cause you won't get to know  brother's partner. he's kind, funny, really scarily tall and welcomes me like i'm his real little sister and i welcomed him like he's a 3rd brother in the family. i'm sad you tend to see brother grumpy. i'm sad that you might never be know things about us even after you die (i hope not)
          i'll just wait for you guys when the time's right. i don't feel pressured about it,it's just a part of me not everything about me. things only got pent up after a few things that happened today thats why i got pissed off.
          
          i'm seldom angry but i'm sorry if i'm grumpy 
          so that's why Luv you mom

BetterLeftUnknown

I can understand if people are shocked and they need time to think about it or something. but ARGGHHH what i really hate the most are people who make indirect discrimination about the lgbtq+ people. Like they sugarcoat it but it's there but you can't just suddenly accuse cause it's not directly attacking you or anything. oh you know just making you question everything about you and/or turn you into spiraling mess that leads you to become blank, depressed, holed up and stuff. they're not beating you up physically but it's hurting you and torturing you inside till there's nothing left but a shell of your former self. just keeping up appearances
          I hate that you put religion into this to the point that i question my faith and always made me think i was a sinner cause you're an avid parishioner. how you guys look so happy that i wasn't a part of them makes me angry and pissed off, how you guys say something rude about them hurts me cause i know i'm one of them. how happy you guys look that i might give you grandchildren saddens me and makes me feel like a disappointment and it breaks my heart cause i still love you guys and i respect you but i don't know anymore