Hi! I read your story, The Fallen Moonlark and it was really really good. I cannot wait for more chapters on that story. The suspense you built was amazing. My personal opinion is to reread the chapter and correct the grammar and spelling. I didn’t see many of it, but personally, it kind of puts me off flow when reading. I would suggest, if you haven’t already, making a storyline with just key points on things that you want happening in your story. I did that for mine, and it made it easier writing since I had all of my key parts set and I only had to put it into words. Going forwards, I suggest hinting subtly at what might happen. Like a small hint here, another there. Space them out like a few authors that I read (Rebecca Yarros and others). It builds the suspense more and makes readers anticipate what might happen. Try leaving the chapters on cliffhangers, like Shannon, making your readers anticipate your next chapter. I love your idea of different point of views and the glimpses into what happened in the past that you give. I feel it adds to the story in a good way. A small part that confused me was when Biana came into the Healing Center and seeing Sophie and Keefe cuddling, was like ‘when did that happen’. I was confused since you had previously mentioned the two already dating. Overall, your story was amazing and I cannot wait to see what happens to Sophie in the next three weeks. (I’m hoping it’s a happy ending because Shannon Messenger just loves to leave us on cliffhangers of suspense and dangers)
