@BishopAM
Sadly no new chapter for Ghost of a girl this month. I got a little to into writing FPE and figuring out some story stuff for it.
I have stuff written, I just forgot that there's meant to be another flashback chapter in-between. Maybe I'll post it on the 1st, y'know, since Tyler's birthday is on the first. I'll try and get it done for then, but lots of new stuff coming out.
So, in a crazy example of life imitating art, I just got diagnosed with OCD...
I really didn't intend to end up being more like Emerson, but here we are.
Now I'm just waiting on some bloodwork to find out if my thyroid is working properly and find out if I'm anemic as well.
@FaintOfLight No! Don't apologize! Life gets in the way, I of course missed you during that time but I figured you must've been busy and was mainly just praying you were okay. Turns out my thyroid is fine, I am anemic but that's not surprising, but the OCD was the big shock. I asked for an assessment but I truly thought I had just convinced myself. I was diagnosed with ADHD ages ago, so I know the process I'm going to go through pretty well, but yea... It's been crazy.
Ohhh, this is crazy!! I also have OCD, so I understand what you're going through. I hope your thyroid is doing well and that everything is going okay! I’m terribly sorry for not being around lately, for not replying to or seeing the messages on your board, and for not having read the post on your other profile yet :(
Decided not to wallow in my grief forever and try and host a PowerPoint Party with some friends.
Obviously, I choose the topic of Twenty One Pilots lore, but now I don't know how I'm going to try and fit it all into one presentation.
@FaintOfLight It's this Saturday so fingers crossed it goes well. OH! I wanna hear about that oral exam, that sounds so cool. I'm hoping to finish my presentation tonight, but who knows.
I’m so glad to hear that!! I was so worried about you, and hearing that you’re trying to get better makes me feel a bit more at ease. And I totally get it, explaining the Twenty One Pilots lore is so hard! I actually decided to talk about it for an oral exam once… it was so tough because as a fan, you know everything, but it’s so easy to get sidetracked when you're explaining it to someone who doesn't know it, haha. But I’m sure you did great!
Hiii Girl!! I noticed you changed your username, love it!! :D
@FaintOfLight It's not like I've written anything new for it in particular. I just had these other stories or more personal pieces written and sitting on this account, and it honestly never felt right to post them here.
Yeah, I saw it, so I immediately subscribed :)
I can’t wait to discover your more personal writing. Honestly, you have the ability to use words in such a magical way, so I’ll always support whatever you choose to share with us!! Go girl ;)
@FaintOfLight Yea, I actually made a second account for my more personal writing. It's now MelancholicAM and this one is Bishop.
Hey, fren. Wanted to reach out and say I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ I know we only know each other on the app, but I'm here if you need to talk more. You're not alone ❤️
@Lunar_Bandito92 I'm glad to hear you're getting through it ❤️ like most things, grief isn't linear, and it's okay to have those bad days. I know I sure do
@Lunar_Bandito92 Thank you. Luckily, I've been doing as well as someone can do in my situation. I'm not pushing away the grief, but I'm also not dwelling on it as much as I think I usually would. I'll definitely keep your offer in mind however. It comes in waves and I accept the bad days when they come. It's always helpful to have another friend to talk to on the bad days though.
Coco just passed.
I feel strange. I’m a bit lost right now.
Hold your loved ones tight.
No… I’m terribly sorry for you… I cannot imagine how you feel right now. I’m at a loss for words because I know nothing I say can change the situation or how you feel in this terrible and painful moment.
Coco was probably an extraordinary cat and your best friend; she will always be a part of you and in your heart, even if she is no longer in this world. You gave her so much love and you made her life the absolute best. She will never leave you, never.
Maybe saying these words is hard because the pain is so devastating, but I’m sending you all my condolences, prayers, and love. I was thinking of you last night and I prayed for you and Coco. I know that Coco is grateful for all the love she received; she’s not suffering anymore and she can rest peacefully.
Take care of yourself. I hope you find peace in this hard time. Her soul will always be with you. Take time for yourself, really. You’re stronger than you think and it will get better! Don’t stress about anything, just take care of yourself. I will always support you and be here. I’m so sorry. You’re the best. Love you my friend…
“MORE THAN WE EVER IMAGINED” WAS EXCELLENT! So proud of Mark and the crew, seeing what they’re able to accomplish is endlessly impressive. I think we all know how talented Tyler and Josh are, but to see the actual work they and the crew put in on a closer level feels so heart warming.
It was so much fun though, everyone was singing quietly and enjoying themselves. No one told anyone to hush. Lots of people showed up in their TØP gear. Everyone was super sweet, I was even given 3 keychains and gave someone a bracelet. 21/10 experience, highly recommend.
@Lunar_Bandito92 That's so cute. It must be a lot of fun to share that love for music with your kids. I've been showing their music to my nephew since he was a baby, playing it for him on uke and piano. The Judge is his current favourite, but I can't wait to take him to concerts when he's older.
@melancholicAM my youngest son LOVES them almost as much as me lol my older son is a casual listener. Me and the little one dressed up
@FaintOfLight I've been super lucky to have see them live multiple times, and it's always such a blessings. I actually have a funny story about the first concert of theirs I ever went to. What I mean is, I'm surprised at how well Mark managed to capture the feeling of one of their concerts. It really does make you feel like you're in Mexico City seeing them!!
It looks as though my cat is rapidly approaching the end. Euthanasia is the merciful chose now, but I hate having to make it.
I wish there was better news to share, there just isn't. I am now focusing on mercy for her. Anything I can do for her sake.
I feel myself tumbling into that pit of grief, as if a cavernous pit opening at my feet. I cannot say that I am won't be swallowed by the darkness, I already that I am.
@FaintOfLight I won't lie, it's fucking rough. It really feels like there's no good options anymore, and every choice available makes me feel as though I am betraying her. It's exhausting. I understand your frustration deeply, I feel frustrated that I can't do more for Coco myself. I don't want her to suffer, and though I know there are moments the pain gets to her, she otherwise is deeply stoic. It breaks my heart to wonder if she's suffering a right now. Still though, she eats and drinks and seems to want to live. I don't know anymore... Thank you regardless, it feels so nice to know there are people who are wishing her well and offering their support. I'm sorry this is impacting me and my writing as much as it is. I just wish there was more I could do so everyone was happy.
@melancholicAM Oh no… I feel so sad for you… I’m crying thinking about what you’re going through. I can only imagine how broken you must feel. I will pray for Coco and for you. I wanted so much to help you, and I’m frustrated that all I can do is offer some kind words… I’m really sorry. This is such a difficult moment, and seeing how painful this situation is breaks my heart. I will pray again, again and again. Even if I can’t take away the pain, I’m here, holding you in my heart and praying for peace, comfort, and strength. Please take care of yourself as best as you can—you are loved and not forgotten. Love u my friend ❤️❤️ love u too Coco ❤️❤️
@melancholicAM I know EXACTLY how that feels you'll know when the time is right. When there's more bad days than good, you'll know. I'll be there again someday, too. My eldest cat is almost 12 now, and I can only hope she has such a long life like your Coco ❤️
AAAAH! Snow On The Road is about to be 1 year old!!!!!
I truly never expected the love or attention that story got. I wrote it because I was trying to finally move on from one of the most traumatic times in my life. So now, a year removed from my frenzied 5 month writing spree, I feel endless grateful to have written it. And, endlessly grateful to all of you guys who have read it and liked and commented. I cannot thank you all enough, but truly, you have made such an incredible difference in my life. If this story means anything to you then please know I am so glad you may have found some solace in these characters.
The 1 year Bonus Chapter is coming out tonight at midnight (EST) if you're interested. Should be out in just a few hours.
Again, thank you so much and stay alive.
@FaintOfLight I'm just glad that you discovered it at all. I can't wait to keep writing, but I think Snow On The Road will always be extra special, not just because of what it is or that it's my first story published, but because of you guys.
I feel incredibly emotional, I have tears in my eyes. Even if I came into this story late and it’s already a year old, it still feels like yesterday when I first discovered it. Honestly, thank you so much. You’ve given me more than you realize.
@Lunar_Bandito92 Thank you so much for helping make this a safe space to do that. I definitely have more to come, but I don't know what exactly after I finish Em's story.
Hii girl,
I don’t really know how to say this. I know I say things like that almost every time, and probably too much, but… today, people around me were talking about how literature can become part of our lives and help readers in different ways. They said that some books stay printed in our minds forever, like landmarks, because they help us understand things or just help us in general.
Anyway… when they were talking about that, I thought about you. Because it’s not just fanfiction — it really feels like you help me in some ways. I know it’s weird, and saying this so often might be strange, and I’m sorry, but with all sincerity, I just want to thank you. Like, a big thank you.
It’s not only the way I relate to Em or Nor, or even to Tyler or other characters. It’s because you see things, and you don’t turn them into something “déjà vu.” It’s more than that for me. You’re really intelligent, and you see so many things that others don’t. I think it’s really beautiful.
Sorry, but my conversation today with my friends made me think about you and your stories. I usually have a lot of difficulty getting into books, and I don’t know why, but with yours, it feels like such a good and safe place for me.
Okay, I’m sorry again. I’m weird, and I’ll probably regret sending this loooong message because I’ll think you see me as a crazy person… but it felt important to tell you this, again. I just wanted you to know that.
You really don’t need to apologize so much. Use my page whenever you want, for whatever you want. I’m always happy to hear from you and I appreciate your feedback constantly. Honestly, my fiancé has heard about you as well at this point, because I get excited to read your comments!!
I write mostly for myself, or more specifically, my inner child. That’s why my characters always are neurodivergent. That’s why they always have learning disabilities. But mostly, that’s why they feel out of place in the world we live in. I hate to imagine you feel that way, but I’m so glad my stories have given you a place to feel safe and understood.
You actually also made note of something quite a few friends of mine tease me about… “noticing people.” It’s a running joke at this point how I seem to see people with an eerie level of clarity, I don’t know why I do though. It can be a lonely experience, but I’m glad that I do notice the small things. I’m glad I can make others feel seen, even if I don’t sometimes. :)