BishopAM

Coco just passed. 
          	
          	I feel strange. I’m a bit lost right now. 
          	
          	Hold your loved ones tight.

FaintOfLight

No… I’m terribly sorry for you… I cannot imagine how you feel right now. I’m at a loss for words because I know nothing I say can change the situation or how you feel in this terrible and painful moment.
          	  
          	  Coco was probably an extraordinary cat and your best friend; she will always be a part of you and in your heart, even if she is no longer in this world. You gave her so much love and you made her life the absolute best. She will never leave you, never.
          	  
          	  Maybe saying these words is hard because the pain is so devastating, but I’m sending you all my condolences, prayers, and love. I was thinking of you last night and I prayed for you and Coco. I know that Coco is grateful for all the love she received; she’s not suffering anymore and she can rest peacefully.
          	  
          	  Take care of yourself. I hope you find peace in this hard time. Her soul will always be with you. Take time for yourself, really. You’re stronger than you think and it will get better! Don’t stress about anything, just take care of yourself. I will always support you and be here. I’m so sorry. You’re the best. Love you my friend…
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Lunar_Bandito92

Hey, fren. Wanted to reach out and say I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️‍ I know we only know each other on the app, but I'm here if you need to talk more. You're not alone ❤️

Lunar_Bandito92

@Lunar_Bandito92 I'm glad to hear you're getting through it ❤️ like most things, grief isn't linear, and it's okay to have those bad days. I know I sure do
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BishopAM

@Lunar_Bandito92 Thank you. Luckily, I've been doing as well as someone can do in my situation. I'm not pushing away the grief, but I'm also not dwelling on it as much as I think I usually would. 
            
            I'll definitely keep your offer in mind however. It comes in waves and I accept the bad days when they come. It's always helpful to have another friend to talk to on the bad days though.
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BishopAM

Coco just passed. 
          
          I feel strange. I’m a bit lost right now. 
          
          Hold your loved ones tight.

FaintOfLight

No… I’m terribly sorry for you… I cannot imagine how you feel right now. I’m at a loss for words because I know nothing I say can change the situation or how you feel in this terrible and painful moment.
            
            Coco was probably an extraordinary cat and your best friend; she will always be a part of you and in your heart, even if she is no longer in this world. You gave her so much love and you made her life the absolute best. She will never leave you, never.
            
            Maybe saying these words is hard because the pain is so devastating, but I’m sending you all my condolences, prayers, and love. I was thinking of you last night and I prayed for you and Coco. I know that Coco is grateful for all the love she received; she’s not suffering anymore and she can rest peacefully.
            
            Take care of yourself. I hope you find peace in this hard time. Her soul will always be with you. Take time for yourself, really. You’re stronger than you think and it will get better! Don’t stress about anything, just take care of yourself. I will always support you and be here. I’m so sorry. You’re the best. Love you my friend…
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BishopAM

“MORE THAN WE EVER IMAGINED” WAS EXCELLENT! So proud of Mark and the crew, seeing what they’re able to accomplish is endlessly impressive. I think we all know how talented Tyler and Josh are, but to see the actual work they and the crew put in on a closer level feels so heart warming. 
          
          It was so much fun though, everyone was singing quietly and enjoying themselves. No one told anyone to hush. Lots of people showed up in their TØP gear. Everyone was super sweet, I was even given 3 keychains and gave someone a bracelet. 21/10 experience, highly recommend.

BishopAM

@Lunar_Bandito92 That's so cute. It must be a lot of fun to share that love for music with your kids. I've been showing their music to my nephew since he was a baby, playing it for him on uke and piano. The Judge is his current favourite, but I can't wait to take him to concerts when he's older.
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Lunar_Bandito92

@melancholicAM my youngest son LOVES them almost as much as me lol my older son is a casual listener. Me and the little one dressed up
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BishopAM

@FaintOfLight I've been super lucky to have see them live multiple times, and it's always such a blessings. I actually have a funny story about the first concert of theirs I ever went to. What I mean is, I'm surprised at how well Mark managed to capture the feeling of one of their concerts. It really does make you feel like you're in Mexico City seeing them!!
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BishopAM

It looks as though my cat is rapidly approaching the end. Euthanasia is the merciful chose now, but I hate having to make it. 
          
          I wish there was better news to share, there just isn't. I am now focusing on mercy for her. Anything I can do for her sake. 
          
          I feel myself tumbling into that pit of grief, as if a cavernous pit opening at my feet. I cannot say that I am won't be swallowed by the darkness, I already that I am.

BishopAM

this message may be offensive 
@FaintOfLight I won't lie, it's fucking rough. It really feels like there's no good options anymore, and every choice available makes me feel as though I am betraying her. It's exhausting. 
            
            I understand your frustration deeply, I feel frustrated that I can't do more for Coco myself. I don't want her to suffer, and though I know there are moments the pain gets to her, she otherwise is deeply stoic. It breaks my heart to wonder if she's suffering a right now. Still though, she eats and drinks and seems to want to live. I don't know anymore... 
            
            Thank you regardless, it feels so nice to know there are people who are wishing her well and offering their support. I'm sorry this is impacting me and my writing as much as it is. I just wish there was more I could do so everyone was happy.
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FaintOfLight

@melancholicAM  Oh no… I feel so sad for you… I’m crying thinking about what you’re going through.  I can only imagine how broken you must feel. I will pray for Coco and for you.
            
            I wanted so much to help you, and I’m frustrated that all I can do is offer some kind words… I’m really sorry. This is such a difficult moment, and seeing how painful this situation is breaks my heart.
            
            I will pray again, again and again. Even if I can’t take away the pain, I’m here, holding you in my heart and praying for peace, comfort, and strength. Please take care of yourself as best as you can—you are loved and not forgotten. Love u my friend ❤️‍❤️‍ love u too Coco ❤️‍❤️‍
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Lunar_Bandito92

@melancholicAM I know EXACTLY how that feels  you'll know when the time is right. When there's more bad days than good, you'll know. I'll be there again someday, too. My eldest cat is almost 12 now, and I can only hope she has such a long life like your Coco ❤️
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BishopAM

AAAAH! Snow On The Road is about to be 1 year old!!!!!
          
          I truly never expected the love or attention that story got. I wrote it because I was trying to finally move on from one of the most traumatic times in my life. So now, a year removed from my frenzied 5 month writing spree, I feel endless grateful to have written it. And, endlessly grateful to all of you guys who have read it and liked and commented. I cannot thank you all enough, but truly, you have made such an incredible difference in my life. If this story means anything to you then please know I am so glad you may have found some solace in these characters. 
          
          The 1 year Bonus Chapter is coming out tonight at midnight (EST) if you're interested. Should be out in just a few hours.
          
          Again, thank you so much and stay alive.

BishopAM

@FaintOfLight I'm just glad that you discovered it at all. I can't wait to keep writing, but I think Snow On The Road will always be extra special, not just because of what it is or that it's my first story published, but because of you guys.
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FaintOfLight

I feel incredibly emotional, I have tears in my eyes. Even if I came into this story late and it’s already a year old, it still feels like yesterday when I first discovered it. Honestly, thank you so much. You’ve given me more than you realize.
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BishopAM

@Lunar_Bandito92 Thank you so much for helping make this a safe space to do that. I definitely have more to come, but I don't know what exactly after I finish Em's story.
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FaintOfLight

Hii girl,
          I don’t really know how to say this. I know I say things like that almost every time, and probably too much, but… today, people around me were talking about how literature can become part of our lives and help readers in different ways. They said that some books stay printed in our minds forever, like landmarks, because they help us understand things or just help us in general.
          
          Anyway… when they were talking about that, I thought about you. Because it’s not just fanfiction — it really feels like you help me in some ways. I know it’s weird, and saying this so often might be strange, and I’m sorry, but with all sincerity, I just want to thank you. Like, a big thank you.
          
          It’s not only the way I relate to Em or Nor, or even to Tyler or other characters. It’s because you see things, and you don’t turn them into something “déjà vu.” It’s more than that for me. You’re really intelligent, and you see so many things that others don’t. I think it’s really beautiful.
          
          Sorry, but my conversation today with my friends made me think about you and your stories. I usually have a lot of difficulty getting into books, and I don’t know why, but with yours, it feels like such a good and safe place for me.
          
          Okay, I’m sorry again. I’m weird, and I’ll probably regret sending this loooong message because I’ll think you see me as a crazy person… but it felt important to tell you this, again. I just wanted you to know that.

BishopAM

You really don’t need to apologize so much. Use my page whenever you want, for whatever you want. I’m always happy to hear from you and I appreciate your feedback constantly. Honestly, my fiancé has heard about you as well at this point, because I get excited to read your comments!! 
            
            I write mostly for myself, or more specifically, my inner child. That’s why my characters always are neurodivergent. That’s why they always have learning disabilities. But mostly, that’s why they feel out of place in the world we live in. I hate to imagine you feel that way, but I’m so glad my stories have given you a place to feel safe and understood. 
            
            You actually also made note of something quite a few friends of mine tease me about… “noticing people.” It’s a running joke at this point how I seem to see people with an eerie level of clarity, I don’t know why I do though. It can be a lonely experience, but I’m glad that I do notice the small things. I’m glad I can make others feel seen, even if I don’t sometimes. :)
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BishopAM

Started rereading some Dostoyevsky again, specifically White Nights. I love his work, but I know I'm going to cry just as hard as the first time I read it. I also worry that the tone and mood of his writing is going to seep into mine... 
          So prepare to be devastated, I guess.

BishopAM

@FaintOfLight three of my favourite authors are Dostoyevsky, Kafka, and Bulgakov. The thing those three have in common is that 1.) they’re Russian, 2.) they write very depressing works (less so Bulgakov, but he still applies somewhat). Dostoyevsky is notorious for writing heart breaking works.
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FaintOfLight

Ahhhhh I don’t know about him but the last sentence got me — I’m scared but excited
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FaintOfLight

Hiii girl, I was listening to a song and when I checked the lyrics, it reminded me so much of Em and Ty. Like when Em doesn’t recognize him during her episode, or when he sings to her in his house, “Screen”. Anyway, it’s “Sing Me to Sleep” by Alan Walker, and I don’t know, I just wanted to share this with you haha :D

BishopAM

@FaintOfLight I just listened to it, and I absolutely see what you mean! Thank you so much for telling me, I love that you wanted to share it with me!! It definitely feels like them.
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FaintOfLight

Girl, I think I’m gonna cry!! My connection is really bad right now, and I just finished writing my comment for chapter nineteen when it suddenly disappeared, like the chapter never even existed!!
          I really hope I’ll be able to read it soon and talk to you about it :)

BishopAM

@FaintOfLight AH! yes that's my bad. I forgot I had another chapter in-between those two so there's going to be a different Chapter nineteen and then the chapter you read is chapter twenty. I messed up the order because I wrote out the idea in my dump folder and forgot to actually execute it. It might be a short chapter, idk, I'm panic writing it right now!
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