Sandia.

6 months (ish) later: 
          1. I've been working at my new job for about 2 months, and I absolutely love it. It's a little exhausting at times, but so far so good. :) 
          2. Moved in with my girlfriend a few months ago too, and it's going very well. We're planning on getting engaged sometime next year, since we still need to figure out the engagement rings. Also going very well :)
          
          That's all for now. :)

Update to close 2023: 
          
          1. I got my results back from the exam; I graduated in honors. :) 
          2. The Melanie concert was amazing, I cried a lot and my lungs felt the effects of EVIL and NYMPHOLOGY. 
          3. Yeaaaa that went about as well as I thought. I still love them though. 
          
          Working on finding a job that will accommodate my life enough for me to continue writing. I'm going to link some of the books I've published so far in the comments of this.

So here I am exactly a year later. 
          
          I have a few updates: 
          1. I am preparing for my final exam on November 10th
          2. I am going to see Melanie Martinez next month AAAAAHHH
          3. I'm finally re-establishing friendships with my exes after so many years <3 It made me realize that I still love them, just not like that 
          
          It's still my dream to dedicate my life to writing, so hopefully once school is done in December, I can be start a new chapter of my life. <3

stigma is a btch

I'm 20 and a problem <3 
          Anyway my love decided to smother me with affections for 2 days and now i'm useless as a person and i've converted into a puddle thanks

I miss you baby :( I miss your praise and attention :( :( where's my baby :( :( 
          [It's been like a few hrs but sh]

At this point, I don't care if you think I'm happy, or if you think I'm broken or even affected to any degree for what happened to us. I have my feelings on what happened to me, and with me, and that's all I care about. I'm not a villain in a story, I'm not a character. I'm a person, and I'm a hell of a better person without you. Thanks to you I know exactly who I never want to be, what I never want to represent. I'm so proud of where I am right now. Maybe I have rough patches, maybe I'm sad. Maybe I've lost a lot. But I'm miles away from where I was, and that is something to be proud of. 
          
          I did things wrong. You also did things wrong. Neither of us was perfect, and it's important to recognize that. 
          
          I'm me today, I'm serious, and I'm a bit slow, and I hate math and I love to drink and get high, I love s*x, I love talking to my friends and playing silly board games. I cackle at videos I find funny, and I complain a lot. I'm chronically and mentally ill, and I'm proud of where I am. 
          
          ...And you know what? Maybe I'm dating someone, maybe I'm not, maybe they broke up with me. Maybe I work a 9-5, maybe I still do tutoring, maybe I own a small business... If you care... Ask me. If you don't, then this doesn't matter. 
          
          I sincerely hope you're happy. We can be done. I'm closing this chapter, for my sake, for the sake of Serpe. 
          
          20's are for wildin and thriving so guess what I'mma do? WILD AND THRIVE. 
          
          "To people I hurt before, I'm slowly learning to forgive myself.. Don't owe nobody nothing.." <3

Buy me expensive gifts and call me momma 

Another beautiful day to remind u that "narc abuse" is bullsht and you're a shit person if you use that vocab <3

When I talked to my partner at the time about possibly having BPD, I was met with "god I hope not." I was hurt, and I was offended. Would a diagnosis change how they feel about me? How they perceive me? And I realized it would, because as soon as I started introducing myself with "Hey, I may have BPD" the world is going to change how it treats me. And that is fcking awful.