I really hate myself and life......how can some give so much to the person they love so dearly, and wish them nothing but the best. only to be on the sidelines, and feel so insignificant in the person they Love's life. To have dated their love and be told that they've never been happier. only for them to break up with you for no reason. Then go after a girl they can never see and constantly has them depressed and worried 24/7, and a girl who can't make up her mind on who she wants to date and plays man tag and keeps breaking his heart. The other night someone even told him how rare it was to have someone drop everything just to give someone the world and be loyal, and realizing and admitting he has that still ignores me and goes after these 2 girls. I can't stand this it hurts and it hurts even worse every single f*** time they toy with his heart and I try so desperately to help cause I hate seeing him cry. Even tonight one of them told him something, which I won't say out of respect, and had him so upset he called me crying from work. what's sad is that I really wish she would go/do or whatever she said cause then she wouldn't be in his life or something at least for a while, and it makes me disgusted and upset with myself cause I'd never want to wish that on anyone I just......I want him to wake up and come back. I desperately wish that everyday. I wish he'd realize what he pushed to the side and stop with these girls that keep hurting him and come back. I don't what changed in him around the time we took a break but it's just.... He's not even himself anymore he use to be so happy and care free when we where together and now..... All he does is cry and worry and it upsets me so much to see him this way.......I want the old him back.......
