Blackjesus_420

Don’t we all wish that there was someone in the family or a friend who could read our minds and tell those around us why we’re upset when we can’t? Before they do and get shitty about doing said inconvenience that they decided to do and hadn’t even been told they didn’t have to?

I have an attraction to film or series reviewers. My mother, the only parent I really see often has terrible taste in tv and shows. She watches during dinner and it is constant torture. So I have an attraction to people with good taste. I just gotta think about this

So here’s the thing, I have a friend who is soon turning 18. Exciting right? Well given he has a RIDICULOUSLY conservative dad and a no fucks given mum (to the point it’s a bit neglectful) he never really gets to have his own birthday parties so all his friends pitched in to do what he wanted for his 18th... get drunk for some reason (don’t ask why, he just wants to) so we are doing it at a friend’s apartment who both her and her roommate have an RSA. Now my mum has always hated this friend and claims to not be judgemental or anything and is all too cowardly to say all the shit she talks about her to her face (friend wouldn’t do anything she’s fine and knows she doesn’t like her) she is hosting and her house is an hour drive away (Mum can’t legally drive due to epilepsy and I haven’t learned yet) she wants me to not go but to also complain to the other parents about how irresponsible this is and given it’s my friends they wouldn’t have told their parents till the week that the party takes place. Given there will be alcohol and said friend who let me just say has gotten into physical fights to stand up for me and will not be drinking a drop given she assigned herself duty of care of our dear old buddy looking to get smashed his first time

So apparently I have a new panic symptom... it has evolved from gagging to vomiting... not to mention the various other ones such as lack of being able to communicate what I need and attacking others and harming myself. Well then, thanks first job that friend got me
          
          (Basic problem is that they are perfect at everything and I’m extremely self deprecating thinking I’m not worth their time... yaaay)

Apparently iTunes thinks thy art is murder’s hate album is pop...
          
          Fucking ingrates
          
          (Listen to the song reign of darkness, u will likely also beg to differ)

So I apparently get my taste in men from my nan on my mum’s side. And by taste I mean liking long hair (I still don’t trust the man bun don’t worry)

Whenever someone says that metal heads aren’t fun show them this
          
          
          https://amp.reddit.com/r/Deathcore/comments/chm8ix/infant_annihilator_three_bastards_official_music/

Hi I would just like to say that I am very confused by the fact that people said that Coraline scared them when they watched it. Bruh I was obsessed and hooked on that shit. I loved a bunch of Tim Burton’s movies before i can remember

I want people to stop loving me. I just had a job interview and work handed to me on a silver platter by a friend and IM NOT HAPPY. I should be happy right? Someone FINALLY takes me on board but all I think of is why?! Why would ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND take me on. I want my friends to stop caring about me, not stop talking but I don’t want them to care about if I live or die in a general sense. I’ve grown up hearing since I was 6 how valueless I was by the majority of people and that I was worse than nothing. It’s what I know as fact! I just can’t have these people give a shit about me a second longer. I was real blotchy today and had to hang up out of nowhere to stop myself because of this day long freak out. AFTER THE INTERVIEW I SPENT 3 MINUTES IN A CUBICLE BASHING MY HEAD ON CONCRETE! I HAVENT DONE THAT SINCE I WAS 8! I don’t want speeches about me mattering, I want ways to make this confused chaos stop

So here’s the deal. I got a friend who I like and he likes me (we know for ourselves, info isn’t from a gossipy friend) so we’re just going fine as friends for 2 years with that kept quiet and all and now he’s proposing we date maybe. And it’s kinda like YES but no because I like him a lot and also I don’t want to lose a friend when the inevitable breakup occurs. That’s 5 years of a solid friendship and if we actually try it’ll be my first relationship, help.