Blaze

Hey...everybody....umm, it's been a while, huh? I...I really don't know where to start with this.....but I feel the need to explain a few things to you all, and I kinda need to vent a little. (just warning you, this might be long)
          
          So....for starters, the reason why I haven't been posting anything......if you all allow me to be blunt for a moment.....I feel like sh*t.
          
          I have been having a very hard time recently, (not that many of my friends know because I just can't get myself to tell them), and I just can't find the motivation to write....at least not a lot.....
          
          I'm doing what I usually end up doing when I'm in my depressive periods, distract myself. I have never quite learned how to deal with emotions in a good way, both negative and positive. I've always tried to distract myself or find a quick outlet, which in terms of negative emotions is usually crying or listening to music (either happy or sad depending on how I feel), and with positive emotions, I usually end up doing either kinda normal things like singing and playing games, or weirder ones like walking around my house screaming random nonsense (though only if I'm home alone).
          
          And sometimes.....I don't have anything to distract me from my depression, and when that happens I just lay in my bed and do nothing (though sometimes I cry a bit).

Wow, it's not every day when I don't know what to say.....but today is one of those rare days....so please, don't judge me if I seem at a loss of words.
          
          So, you're all probably wondering where I've been, and I'll try my best to explain myself.
          
          As most of you know, I've been struggling with writing for a few months now, and that's still a current problem, although it has shown signs of starting to ease. However, despite my motivation and inspiration to write slowly coming back, something recently happened, and now I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to write again anytime soon anyway.
          
          As much as I don't want to trouble you all with my issues, I want to vent about this, so I'm explaining to you all anyway.
          
          My uncle committed suicide this weekend, and I found out about it this Monday, so it's still a very fresh thing in my mind.
          
          I'm trying my best to process it but with my normal daily life not having changed, seeing as I only saw him at family gatherings and our skiing vacations, I can't seem to fully come to terms with the fact that he's gone. And the fact that no one who knew him has any idea of why he did this, everyone is confused. He never talked to anyone about his problems, always seemed to at ease and happy. He was the funny adult at all the parties and always had solutions to most problems, especially mechanical problems.
          He was the one who taught me how to ski, despite me being difficult, he never gave up on teaching me, as long as I had the drive to learn, he would help me.
          
          I never thought he would do something like this, he never showed any signs that warned anyone.
          
          I'm trying so hard to grieve him, but with the fact that my everyday life hasn't changed, it's made almost impossible. So. instead I'm left feeling confused, and angry at everything and nothing all at the same time.
          
          I have friends and classmates to talk to, but, venting here helps me think. Hope you all never have to experience this, and I wish you all a happy life.
          
          Sincerely Blaze.

hallu~! thanks for adding my book to your reading list! <3

     SOME DAYS 
                          
                      I can be strong,I can be weak
                      I can be proud, I can be meek
                      I can be gentle, I can be tough 
                  I can explode when I've had enough 
          
                 Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry
                Sometimes I lose, but I always will try
              
             I always get up, when I get knockeddown 
              And make a smile, out of any frown  I hope that God likes me, the day that we meet if only for a chance, to sit at his feet
          And be by his side, year after year while all of the bad things just disappear so when life gets tough and it's hard to be strong 
          
          
                             I'll never forget
                      HEAVEN IS WHERE I BELONG 
          
          
          Send this to someone who needs it
          
          Original message: @Empire_queen91 
          
          Ps: I hope your doing better

Alright, let's just do this....
          
          Hey guys....It's Blaze here....it's been a while since you've heard from me, huh.
          
          Well, I figured it was about time I told you all why I've been absent lately.
          
          The truth is.....I'm not doing well....like, at all.....
          
          Things are really hard right now and I can barely cope with everything going on in my life...
          
          My absence from writing hasn't been a choice I made, I just couldn't do it, and still barely can. I don't want to let you guys down, but I'm not in the right place to make anything for you all as it stands right now.
          
          I know this might just seem as an excuse, but honestly, I'm too tired to care about that right now.
          
          I don't want to worry any of you, but I figured you had the right to know what happened to me, and why it's still going to be a while before any sort of updates are made.
          
          I'm working on solving my issues, but they've grown a bit worse during these past few months, which is why I can't write anything. I don't know exactly when it happened, but at some point during this mental spiral, I became unable to write and so far I've not been able to climb back up enough for that to be a possibility again.
          
          I'm so sorry for not being able to give you guys content, but I hope you all understand why.
          
          Until next time..
          
          Blaze out....

Hey everyone. It's me, I'm not exactly back yet, but I wanted to explain why I haven't been active lately.....
          
          For probably the first time since I started using wattpad, I won't actually go into details about what recently went down in my life. All I'm going to say is that I'm very much not doing all that well.
          
          As of right now, I have one drafted chapter of the possessed revenge rewrite which I'm going to post soon, but other than that it will most likely going to be a while before any updates from me are made.
          
          I'm not asking for anything other than your understanding in this. None of you have to do anything if you don't want to. You all have your own lives to deal with.
          
          But I want to tell you all something. I'm proud of everyone of you. No matter what your going through and how you're dealing with it, I love you all so much.
          
          I know life can be hard, I've dealt with a lot of shit myself and seen friends go through other shit, so I know how cruel the world can be to people that don't deserve it.
          
          So even if you had to force yourself to leave bed this morning, or if you didn't do anything at all. No matter how much or how little you did today, yesterday, or the week before that. No matter how much your going to do today, tomorrow, or the week to come. Either way, I'm proud of you, love you, and hope you all the best.
          
          No one deserves to live in a cruel world, but sometimes we have no choice, and if you can do that and still continue living, that's a big accomplishment and you deserve to be congratulated for it.
          
          Live your life the best you can, and take care of the time you have with loved ones like friends and family. There are people who love you out in the world.
          
          I'm sorry for my little rant, I've just been really emotional lately, hope you all understand and have a wonderful day, week, month, year, or life. I wish you all the best.
          
          Blaze out!

Hey guys, Blaze here. I just noticed I reached 200 followers here on Wattpad so I just wanted to stop and take a moment to thank you all. Your support has been such a great help for me in more ways than one.
          
          When I started writing here on Wattpad it was just a fun thing, a way for me to tell my silly dream ideas and daydreams about a kids show I still enjoyed watching. But then when I started posting the original "possessed revenge" story, I started having people like what I wrote. It overwhelmed me at first, which led to me forcing myself to do things just to make you all happy. 
          
          But thanks to two very dear friends of mine who I met through my stories and Wattpad account, as well as supportive people in my surroundings, I grew to realize that it wasn't helping me dealing with my bad mental health in a healthy way. So I spoke up,  saying I'll write in my own pace and way.
          
          I thought people would hate for that, that they'd grow impatient if I didn't upload chapters on stories regularly, but I was wrong.
          
          You guys have stayed with me despite the choices I've made to try and get better, even if they might have inconvenienced you, and I thank you all for that.
          
          I've gotten a little bit of hate/less kind comments and stuff, but with the help of my friends and you guys, I've gotten through it.
          
          I may not be "normal" or perfect. I may not always be okay. But you all were there for me despite that, and I couldn't ask for anything else.
          
          Thank you, all of you, for being such a great support for me throughout these two (and a half) years I've been on here. It means the world to me.
          
          And with that, I wish you all happiness and good days and until next time, Blaze out!

Okay so, I'm sort of back. For as long as my head has the energy. Things have been rather rough for me lately. I've not been doing very well and have only had enough mental energy to do a few of my school assignments. Meaning I got behind on schoolwork rather quickly after this bad period started. Which only made me feel worse. So I've not been able to focus on writing very much because of that, and a few other reasons.
          
          I'm going to try and get out of this little hole to the best of my ability, but I can't promise anything.
          
          I'll try to give you guys more content. I might even post the story I'm writing for one of my school assignments as I'm currently rather proud of it.

For those interested, the first chapter of the possessed revenge rewrite is now out. Feel free to give it a read

So......sorry for my sudden disappearance, I....had a lot to deal with this summer. But I've worked on the rewrite of possessed revenge and am planning to post the first chapter (in a new book for those who enjoy the old version more) either today or tomorrow, hopefully. Anyway, that's all I have to say at the moment, hope you all are well.