Umm... Hey! I have been QUITE inactive since my completion of Vigilante PAW. I've got my reasons, I was just a little hesitant on explaining why.
Well, a lot of you might remember me talking about a reviewer on FF.net dragging my story over the coals. It was discouraging to hear, but, upon receiving a final review from the same reviewer talking about the last sections of my story, I realized that while this reviewer is pretty critical of my work, the points they made were still valid.
I ADORE Vigilante PAW, but I also found myself agreeing with a lot of the points they made, and realized there were a lot of inconsistences in the story, and with the themes I tried to convey. Why? Because this reviewer understood the theme completely, and was quick to tell me that I didn't exactly stick the landing on a lot of things involving it. And, well, they were right.
Back when I was still working on the story, I was doing my best to make something that the community could be proud of, and after getting those reviews, I was gutted. It hit hard, and I stopped posting my story on FF.Net for a while because I was scared of receiving more. But you can't really improve without criticism, right?
Getting through that final review was ROUGH. But at the end of the day, there was still encouragement to do better moving forward. Recommendations on what I could do. It wasn't mindless slander. It was genuine criticism with the intention of getting me to recognize my flaws, and I didn't really see that until recently. Guess I ended up getting the character development ^^'
But, I wouldn't be lying if I said it wasn't a heavy blow to my self esteem and perceived competence when making long narratives. Hell, the reviewer didn't even know I planned out the story in its entirety months before I posted chapter one. Which is the main reason I haven't returned with another story.
"Guest" was right, I can do better. I'd love to. But I'm admittedly scared to do it again. It could be a while.