@Psychiatristtriangle it's hard to explain how I feel and what the things made me frustrated, tired and maybe furious. my last two years was such a experience about everything i don't even know what really is but... you know, something changes, you change, you cannot live like in old days, you want it so badly but no, you cannot unfortunately. my heart was broken. i lost my some of friends. we have distance between me and some other friends. I'm just trying to fix something these days. after a hundred day I will be in exam without knowing that it's all worth for my efforts. right now, im not in the line that i want to be. im just trying and studying. stress killing me slowly but harshly. im trying to not lose my hope however it's really hard. if i can stand with a way, you can do it better. we will fix, we will gain ourselves again. bc there is not to do better.