BlueKenziefanatic984

Horses consider it play
          Monkeys consider it business
          But to tom, it’s all foolery 

Just when you think that vegetables don’t have phones 
          
          Onion rings 

What’s heavier, a liter of water, or a liter of butane?
          
          Well, obviously water, since butane is a lighter fluid 

Why did the Mexican take anxiety medication? 
          
          For Hispanic attacks 

Turns out it’s a bad idea to buy honey on the fifth month of the calendar year, which is when the beekeepers are the most uncertain about the honey being made
          
          Because it’s May bees

Dogs can’t use an MRI machine but cats can

Thought I’d have to pay a ton of money for my new roof
          
          But turns out it’s on the house 

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock
          
          Because communication is key 

If I were a superhero, I’d wrap aluminum around the villain’s calendar 
          
          Then I could say I foiled his plans 
          
          

If Jesus died for our sins then who died for cos and tan