Hello everyone,
I know I have been very quiet in the last months and years.
It's because of some certain feelings that I can't shake off.
Normally, I write my texts with a translator.
But today, right now, I am writing from my heart.
This isn't the first account I have on Wattpad.
And on other websites I also haven't my first-made account anymore.
The feelings that keep me from doing anything on these websites, that made it impossible for me to keep any accounts:
Betrayal, hate, despair, immense pain and hopelessness
This went one for the past four years now.
I got to know people which I had a lot of fun with. They were nice and kind. We spoke every day. Joked around. And I listened to them.
But at some point their "glass of life" was full again. I emptied mine.
I gave them my time, spent hours with them even when I had to work or sleep. I always somehow made time for them.
I gave them my money. When they were in financial problems, I tried to help out. Or when they were down, I made them gifts. Never caring for how much I spent. Because their smile was more worth for me.
They were always able to text me. To call me. To even show up and stay overnight for as long as they needed.
I always put their happiness and health first.
Then.. when their "glass" was full again.. everything started to change.
They started to ignore me. To insult me. Even to threat me.
They only found reasons why I would be the worst person in the world.
And they knew about some trigger points of me. Of course, I told them. They were my friends. And they started to attack exactly these points, knowing they would send me into depressions for a long time.
They spread rumors about me until nobody wanted contact with me anymore.
It never stopped until I deleted the accounts they knew about.
This happened eight times in the last four years.
So, yeah..
I am still dealing with these feelings.
And I am writing all this down to make you all aware of what your actions can cause.
Stay kind.