I've reread your epic story. The only critical thing I want to say is the following: you should have added more personal nightmarish moments. Mind you, I don't think that millions are statistic, just that they give more emotional impact. And yet, I like your story very much.
Just one more question. Did 11th Doctor die on Trenzalore in your canon or it didn't happen?
Sincerely yours, Ilya Rysenkov.