Bnicole1999

So, I haven't written in a while because there has been so many things going on in my life lately. Mostly bad but I am grateful for the good things. I should be writing soon.

Ever feel like you don't belong? Ever feel like nothing is ever going to be okay? Like it is okay on the outside but not on the inside? Ever want to die? I am so lost, and so hurt, and no one around me even understands.......

They look at me and say I’m crazy
          They say I’m acting like a child
          They say I am foolish and don’t know what I feel
          I look at them and I want to scream
          Want to yell and say “Look at me!” 
          I want them to know what’s on the inside 
          No one asks they don’t want to see
          They can’t handle it and they don’t know what to say
          I feel alone in this world
          I feel like I should be ashamed
          They put me down for the way that I feel 
          They don’t understand the pain that i’m in
          I want to yell and say “LOOK! LOOK AT ME AND SEE MY PAIN”
          It would be no use
          They look at me in disqust and some look with fear
          They treat me different for the way that I think
          I am different and that is enough
          To blind their eyes to the truth
          The truth that I am hurt and I am alone
          The truth that I am better off this way
          They want me gone and so I shall be away from all of their memories
          
          It is time to say good-bye. Good-bye to the world that never knew me
          To the world that tortured and bruised me
          There is nothing left to say besides good-bye

I live my life in the shadows 
          Being judged by all who pass
          They don’t get my choices
          They say that I am wrong for the way I feel
          They say that I am worthless and that is real
          I fight everyday for what I believe 
          It starts to seem like a worthless fight
          I am not wrong for the way I feel 
          Should be allowed to act it out
          This fight goes on everyday
          It is tiring to fight with these men
          Who never try and always fail
          To see my point and show they care
          I want them to know and I want them to see
          What they make me see each and every day
          No matter what they say and what they do
          I will keep fighting for my beliefs

It rains outside my window
          I see the world but I don’t know it
          The rain is a melody floating in my head
          It takes all the pain and all the sorrow
          It makes the air easier to breathe
          I love the way it sounds hitting the roof
          I love the way the rain falls on my face
          Gently and kindly taking its place
          It reminds me of peace and brighter days
          That in the end there is no pain
          I can’t wait for that day
          The day where there is no more sorrow and no more pain
          A day where life will not be the same
          We will laugh and we will dance
          Throwing our hands in the air
          Rejoicing in the world together
          No more pain forever and ever

Life is a journey. We all live and we all die. What do we do when we can't live, but we can't die? That's a very good question, and a lot of us do not know how to answer that question. Life is a challenge that we all face. We live to die, we die to be free. You never know what is around that corner, but you have better be prepared. Life is not easy, and it will never be. Never let the people closest to you leave, because once they are gone, they are gone. Your family is the most important people in your life. Love and cherish them forever. Yes, they die, but their spirits live within you. You just have to look at everything in a positive way. Never let the people you love go, or you will go with them.

Life isn't what others want it to be. It is what you want and you think. You should not listen to anyone or let them tell you what you should do.......

We wait, we wait for a better day.
          Is it in our future?
          Is it worth living?
           Living is pain and sorrow.
          We live everyday, but eventually we die.
           We do stupid things, but it doesn't help.
          We always get back to reality.
          The pain, the hurt, the broken dreams,
          Sometimes we lay down to sleep, and life rushes in on our brains. We can't get rid of it. We feel like dying,
          just letting it all go and not letting anything matter, because we won't feel anymore.
          We love, we care.
            We care for the one's around us, but when we die, there will be no memory.
                We spend life wanting the best for our son's and daughters to be disappointed over and over again.
          
              So why,
          why do we love, why should we care?
          
               I'll tell you why,
          cause in the end, the life we lived, the people that we touched, 
          everything we put forth into this world will live past us.
          IT WILL GO ON!!!!   
          
             THIS IS WHY WE LIVE!!!!!!!

Life is suprising, you never know what's around the corner.
          We live, and we die
          We love and we fear. 
          Life should be full of laughter and smiles, yet we most often find ourselves in the dark end of the deal. 
          Why? I do not know,  but I will try to understand. I love to laugh and play, but I feel that there will be more and more tears.  
          Please, do not leave me alone with myself, for I might go crazy and lower myself. The next time you see me, I will be on the ground, sound asleep with love hanging around. Stay and love, because we live and we die, without the telling of time.