Bookreaderlover95

this message may be offensive 
@brighterthantheemoon Thank you for not giving up on the book I was worried about that. Also I just finished reading chapter 12 and something doesn't make since to me. How was Kyle able to suck Asher's dick while he forced himself inside Asher's mouth? It does not say how Kyle removed his penise and then moved himself down to such on Asher's penise. It still talks about how Asher was still being forced to suck on Kyle's penise while Kyle was giving Asher a blow job.

brighterthantheemoon

@Bookreaderlover95 hello! 69 position is still there & no, my feelings aren’t hurt. Other readers seemed to understand that it was a 69 position so I’m not too worried!
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Bookreaderlover95

@brighterthantheemoon Hi! I hope I didn't hurt your feelings about chapter 12. I noticed that you taken off the 69 position in the chapter. Are you trying to rewrite it?
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Bookreaderlover95

@brighterthantheemoon Thanks for clearing that up. But can you make it more clear about that position? It still doesnt make since because now it says, "my hands fly back, clawing blindly at his thighs, his hips,". How can Asher hold his hips when Kylenis facing away from him? Then it says, "Kyle exhales a satisfied breath above me." I think you should re-edited the part where you added the 69 position, like how Kyle turns around facing away from Asher? Also, I think you should re-edit some parts in the chapter after you mention the 69 position because if you read it more carefully it still talks about how Kyle is looking at Asher while he is forcing him to suck on his penis. Including a part where Asher's Mom comes in and Asher is trying to pull away, " I try to shake my head, try to pull away, but his grip only tightens, anchoring me harder to the floor."  I hope I am not upsetting you I'm just trying to help you to see how your readers (including me) are reading from their point of view. It's a really good book! : )
• Reply

Bookreaderlover95

this message may be offensive 
@brighterthantheemoon Thank you for not giving up on the book I was worried about that. Also I just finished reading chapter 12 and something doesn't make since to me. How was Kyle able to suck Asher's dick while he forced himself inside Asher's mouth? It does not say how Kyle removed his penise and then moved himself down to such on Asher's penise. It still talks about how Asher was still being forced to suck on Kyle's penise while Kyle was giving Asher a blow job.

brighterthantheemoon

@Bookreaderlover95 hello! 69 position is still there & no, my feelings aren’t hurt. Other readers seemed to understand that it was a 69 position so I’m not too worried!
• Reply

Bookreaderlover95

@brighterthantheemoon Hi! I hope I didn't hurt your feelings about chapter 12. I noticed that you taken off the 69 position in the chapter. Are you trying to rewrite it?
• Reply

Bookreaderlover95

@brighterthantheemoon Thanks for clearing that up. But can you make it more clear about that position? It still doesnt make since because now it says, "my hands fly back, clawing blindly at his thighs, his hips,". How can Asher hold his hips when Kylenis facing away from him? Then it says, "Kyle exhales a satisfied breath above me." I think you should re-edited the part where you added the 69 position, like how Kyle turns around facing away from Asher? Also, I think you should re-edit some parts in the chapter after you mention the 69 position because if you read it more carefully it still talks about how Kyle is looking at Asher while he is forcing him to suck on his penis. Including a part where Asher's Mom comes in and Asher is trying to pull away, " I try to shake my head, try to pull away, but his grip only tightens, anchoring me harder to the floor."  I hope I am not upsetting you I'm just trying to help you to see how your readers (including me) are reading from their point of view. It's a really good book! : )
• Reply

Bookreaderlover95

@tttiipp Hi!!! I just finished writing a few chapters of Mafia's Stalker. I am about to follow you on Instagram. My name is Joi. I also added where to place them in the chapters. I hope you like it!

Bookreaderlover95

@tttiipp I just finished messaging you all the chapters I written plus 2 chapters of Dark Chain I also edited. I hope you like them. Let me know what you think. : )
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tttiipp

Bro I’m not sure if you’re a girl or a boy  but you are so sweet really. You are actually writing 2nd chapterr
          
          … I’m crying. I tried to send an emoji but Wattpad doesn’t allow it (╥﹏╥)
          
          
          
          
          Also thank you so much.
          
          Please write my other books toooo 
          (´༎ຶ‿༎ຶ`)
          (´༎ຶ‿༎ຶ`)
          (´༎ຶ‿༎ຶ`)
          
          
          
          Aaaa… I wish I could take you as my writing partnerrrr! Aaaa…
          
          (´༎ຶ‿༎ຶ`)

tttiipp

@Bookreaderlover95 it's ok take your time
• Reply

Bookreaderlover95

@tttiipp Hi! I sadley did not get a chance to write yesterday and I am busy this weekend. I will write on Monday. I apologize : (
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tttiipp

@Bookreaderlover95 hey hiii....
• Reply

tttiipp

Do you want me to add the carrying part in the kidnapping chapter? If you want I can add it back to that chapter by including some more lines if that helps

Bookreaderlover95

@ttiipp could you maybe add the stalkers pov how he went into Ayan's room and drugged him and how he carried Ayan over his shoulder  out of Ayan's room in chapter 2?
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Bookreaderlover95

@ttiipp yes please! To me that would clear things up.
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thedelusionalwriterr

If you crave a morally grey Mafia boss who'd burn the world for the one he can't have, and a fierce heroine who refuses to be tamed, then this is for you.
          
          ✨ 10-year age gap
          Brutal, possessive love
          Mafia, betrayal, and dangerous obsession
          ⚖️ A romance so forbidden, it could destroy them both
          
          ---
          
          "Catch me if you can, Uncle Leo," 
          
          she teases, running through his gothic mansion, her giggles echoing through the vast halls.
          
          "Coming, little butterfly..."
          
          He smirks, whistling a slow, eerie tune like a psychopath as he stalks toward her-unhurried, deliberate, like a predator toying with its prey.
          
          ---
          
          Kiara Jordan lost her parents in a tragic accident-or so she was told. 
          
          Raised by the powerful Casanova mafia family, she was sheltered from their world of crime. 
          
          But when she uncovers evidence that her parents' deaths weren't an accident, she realizes someone in the family is hiding the truth.
          
          Leonardo Casanova, her guardian and once-trusted protector, warns her to stop digging. 
          
          But is he protecting her-or hiding his own dark secrets? 
          
          As danger closes in and forbidden feelings ignite, Kiara must decide: expose the truth and risk everything, or trust the man who may have betrayed her all along?
          
          Read it now:
            https://www.wattpad.com/story/385346464?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=thedelusionalwriterr
          
          
          ( Ps: Contains mature content. Readers discretion is advised. )

MaggieCrossMay

 Hey there! I invite you to discover a story full of emotion, love, and personal growth! 
          
          If you're a fan of young adult romance novels, characters struggling with their feelings, and a protagonist who will make you remember your school years, then this story. 
          
          Is a story that will capture you from the first chapter. Liz, a girl dealing with insecurities while falling for an unattainable guy, but also learning to value true friendships and moments of personal growth.
          
           Interested? Don't hesitate to read it! And if you like it, leave me a comment and share your thoughts. It's always great to hear from readers 
          
          Your support means a lot to me! I look forward to seeing you in the comments and I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/386580328?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=MaggieCrossMay