MooMew

guess who sold a part of their soul to tiktok and youtue and their gosh darn motherflipping reference to learn how to paint... it was me and i dont regret the back pain and vague chest pain that might be because i've been wearing a bra for too long. iss been a whole month. ya gorl got a job then lost it because of ms.rona but that's cool. i realize now that i dont need that $35 pack of paint brushes to get shit done and that me using the excuse of having not enough materials for most of the crazy shit i wanna draw is a  poorly written attempt at self trickery and that shit aint kosher. but i hope everyone's been managing well enough during these times and staying safe. How's your day going @Kappayokai ?

If you live in the U.S please watch this https://www.tiktok.com/@cheshirccat/video/6833987736572071173?u_code=daj68818h5hd28&preview_pb=0&language=en&_d=da574b0hki3083&share_item_id=6833987736572071173×tamp=1591199323&user_id=6789985934371243013&utm_source=copy&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=android&share_app_name=musically&share_iid=6834052603555809029&source=h5_m

http://chng.it/njngMyRHjp

so i've now decided that i will be doing mainly black and white / monochrome art or at least it'll be more focused towards that now because me trying to do skin in colored pencils is just going to keep causing me to have sob sessions. but my work in graphite has been awesome and the portrait i'm working on rn is pretty bomb and should be a nice piece if i keep this same energy so that's a positive. the funny thing is,earlier on in the year an art teacher told me that i had colour down pat and only needed to work on black and white, but now it's the exact gosh darn opposite ! also i ended up scrapping  that janelle monae drawing because it really wasn't up to cheese but i might redo it. i hope you all are doing well.

anywhere i'm off to draw janelle monae

idk if anyone  noticed that i changed my bio a little bit. i've realized that i feel comfortable with the pronouns she/her but prefer they/them and i just felt like letting y'all know

so right i cut some of my hair yesterday. just shaved a couple centimeters off the side and back. but mum's went freaking ballistic because i had the energy to cut my hair decently  but not clean my room. i did clean it but she has not spoken to me and has left again to quarantine elsewhere. she might come back  on mondaay but apparently i don't have the agency to even cut the hair on my head. i mean my hair could have dropped from putting paint in it repeatedly buut me cutting it is sin itself. and deadass tho, she would NOT have known if she didn't see the hair in the trash bin. but i'm a goddam for expecting mums to be chill about it.

People say that they're going to be walking out of quarantine with a cart full of shit they ordered and me and my broke as$ only barely has $5.15 to my name. And I'm over here making $100+ wishlists on every goddam shopping site I have an account for. I finna walk out of quarantine with saving plans that I won't follow and lists of shit that I want to help express myself and my interests and signify my transition in finding myself as person...
          Or some shit like that.

Y'all I know I only come on here to shout into the void about how I feel in the ungodly hours of the morning but I miss my mom. Like she was quaranting with us since March and actually went back to her home( that's like two corners down from us ) two days ago. I promised her I would try to have better day-to-day routines and now anytime I need to convince myself to keep the routine going my little voice sounds like her. I got used to hearing her voice everyday and now I miss her T-T.

Bitches will be one more wrong brushstroke away from a breakdown and ready to just finger paint the rest of a portrait because they're not used to  painting and have worked in the pencil form of most medias for a majority of their life. Then go to sleep, read, and watch memes for a whole day, THEN finally catch sense and understand that it's a learning process and that they should be patient with themself and actually starts going in the "right"/intended direction. I am bitches.