What the hell is a banjo

Hey ya'll just got out of prison for illegally downloading Shrek II online, and I'm back in the game baby! 
I only read hardcore lemon slasher novels based off the show M*A*S*H so don't ask me to read if your story doesn't fit that criteria alright. 
-extreme couponer
-never seen a plant
-can't read
-sponsor of the peace corps in Nigeria
-only eats chicken nuggets 
-seen God
-atheist
-vegan 
 #TheGreatDepressionNeverHappened

I've been in a relationship with my love Diangio for 25 years and we still going strong so if you try to snatch him away from me you best be ready for a slam down because I'm sending your ass back to Mars with the rest of the goons who tried to steal my man. 
Married to my wife Brumpo for 30 years and have three wonderful children: Brumpo II, Brumpo III, and Hepatitis C.  Love you bb 😘

Btw if you're from Wisconsin get the hell off my profile I'm lack toast and tolerant.