dear barack...
I know I'm married to Bill right now, but... things aren't working really well. He's always busy and tells me to clean for him, it's almost like he doesn't want to make some time for me, y'know? But.. enough about me, how are you doing? I've been thinking about you a LOT, Barack. You're always in my dreams...I'm going to be straight-forward with you.
Do you want to have an affair with me?
I know... it sounds crazy, but it's just that I haven't felt any kind of pleasure for months, and I know you haven't too!
I can plan it all for us... romantic island... hot tub... fresh midnight air... just think about it, Barack! If not, ask Michelle, please...
Love, Hillary.