Julian M. Parrilla-Cotto

Hey! i decided that this is the end of this account. Ill be on it once in a while but i made a new main account @JulianMarie2002 everything is explained in that account. I'm sorry guys. This account is too  depressing for me (I made it that) I need to push myself to move on because I feel as tho I making myself stay in this dark place by not wanting to put effort in helping myself. This account has a lot of good memories. i made friends and they came and gone.  I SOUND LIKE I'M SAYING A SPEACH BEFORE I DIE LMAOOO. Anyways It was nice meeting some of you.

How are you people?

hello
          im not here to come and vent or explain how bad my life is going right now; i just wanted to hop over here and just say hi and whatnot.
          
          yeah, i read your sui book (im not comfortable with saying the full word at the moment) and I just wants let you know that im really proud of you. you made it so far in this life and you're pushing through. thank you for trusting us strangers online with your issues, i know things get so hard sometimes to the point that you just wanna stop it all. 
          
          lots and looots of hugs (((: we love you! you've got this!!!!
          
          hope you have a good day/night 

I don't feel like myself. and I haven't for years now. im just different. growing up and struggling is real. it is so difficult and hard. people make it impossible to want to stay here on earth. you feel like everything is your fault even when it isn't. you haven't been happy. you're struggling with everything and no one sees that. you have no one to talk to. no one knows what's going on inside of you. and you just want someone to notice how bad you're struggling but no one ever notices. you hate yourself. you look in the mirror everyday and hate what you see. you see all the scars and stretch marks and wish they would disappear. im screaming and no one cares. no one sees me holding back my tears daily. people hate me for wanting to leave, but no one's giving me a reason to stay. im worthless. im never happy. there's no reason for me to keep living this sad pathetic life. I keep wishing for it to get better, but it never does. I have to fake a smile everyday in front of people. I often cry myself to sleep. 

Message me anytime, if you need someone.

If any of ya'll need to talk, i'm here.
          
          I was reading through some of the messages and i just wanna hug each and everyone of ya'll and tell ya'll it's alright

Hello, this is @depressedgirls537. The username probably explains it. We are two people, girls, who are both depressed, very depressed, and only a tad suicidal.  We decided that it would be useful if we created a place where you and us could rant, talk about depression, general sadness, and stuff happening in our lives.
          
          Before you yell at us, no, we're not triggering. We're not scamming. We're not criminals. We're not evil, nor satanic, nor the deserving-to-be-reported kind. We know that there are these types of people get that sudden urge to do something, anything, to themselves, right at that moment. You think we're little amateur scammers? Then you're wrong. You think we don't know about it? Well we do. We are one of those types of people.
          
          If you can, spread the word to other people you know are like us - you know, the cry-twenty-four-slash-seven, completely-depressed, Sherlock-jumped-off-a-hospital-why-not-me kind of person. That would mean a lot.
          
          From your li'l depressed lasses,
          @depressedgirls537
          
          If you're like us and would rant on and on for hours, just go here: https://discord.gg/fJvjUjyv
          
          Thanks for hearing us out, and thank you @BrokenAngle21 for your book, it really helped :)

i feel my self like piece of shit, and I'm gonna kill myself just because i want it , i cant believe myself just wanted to say try live only for yourself not for others people because that's really sucks. sorry for marks English isn't my native language... thanks bye.. i have only 24 hours for doing suicide 

Hi how are you? Are you searching up suicide too? Thinking of ways you want to die? It feels like that's all that's on my mind while I write this and listen to depressing songs aka my favorite songs. Do you dream about self harm inflicted on yourself? I do. Do you daydream about ways to torture yourself? It's fun! Do you bang your head on the wall telling yourself you a disappointment and asking why you were even born? Because if you do then we are alike! And don't get me wrong I don't care about attention I honestly just wanna relate to somebody who understands. My family wouldn't believe me if they knew and I told them because I'm one of the "happiest" people in the house. I haven't slept all night and I didn't even get 8 hours of sleep yesterday so I'm getting more used to no sleep and soon I won't sleep at all! Which means more time to think about bad things.

Thank you. I know you probably won't read this but thank you for writing, thank you for trusting us, and thank you for being there for others even when you weren't there for yourself.