Bronze

I can't bring myself to do literally anything, my clothes haven't been washed in months and I probably smell like shit cuz I haven't taken a shower in a week and god knows I barely bring my self to eat and it feels like the only thing going "right" is the exact opposite of what I should be doing to get healthy, I felt like a normal person for a few minutes and it almost felt euphoric 

I'm so hungry and instead of making myself food like a normal person I drank TWO FUCKING BOTTLES OF THAT STUPID FUCKUNG TEA AFTER I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD GET TO MY GOAL WEIGHT I can't wait until I'm able to leave this dirty ass house so I can finally be who I always dreamed I'd be, instead of being so skinny I'm ALWAYS so fucking cold or hot all the time THIS SUCKS

I really love it when I remember I'm the weird and gross mentally ill instead of the "attractive and gullible" type

oh my fucking god, my friends are being nice, but I'm always so awkward, and one keeps inviting me to do stuff and giving me food and I don't know how to be a person I'm gonna throw up because anxiety, and it's sooo sudden, idk if they didn't act like this before or i blocked it out again... IM GONNA CRY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WHY DID THE GODS CURSE ME WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY???

I’ve existed for quite a few years now, happy birthday to me!!! Maybe I’ll finally finish that fic I’ve been writing

Im spiraling and the only thing keeping me sane-ish (cause I’m definitely not completely here) is turning my current hyper fixations into deranged fantasies and the thought that maybe ill be better off alone in my future

Should I? No. Will I? Maybe.

OLD MAN YAOI CHEATING AFFAIR? HELL YES, THIS IS BAD BUT UGH!!! also I love the number 3 a lot

I’ve been in love with the same two people since 8th grade, and uhh I think it’s really affecting me, shoutout to the time they dated each other (im lithromantic so I don’t even know why I care so much)

I just love how for 20 minutes my parents told me that I’m never going to get into college, that I’ll fail in life as an artist, and that my life now, as it is, is not good enough. All I do is sit, my own friends don’t take me seriously, I just want help, but I know I’ll never find it. Plus, nobody would want to help me, apparently. I want to be free of this, so I either need to do so good I leave here and make myself exclusive, or suck so bad nobody wants to associate with me. I’ll try but I’m at my breaking point.