Brothaaa

I was doing good. I was doing SO GOOD. I actually began to think that I maybe had a chance at being accept by society. I began to dress up more, and I told my mom about it and she was like "oh good" and like last week I had picked out something to wear for my little get together with my family (it was just my grandpa and uncle) but like the thing is I was getting ready and my mom comes in and gives me a faja wich is basically used to hide fat wich made me feel bad because I was really starting to love myself, and start eating healthy so that just ticked me off but I didn't say anything, then today I wore a shirt and I thought I looked cute, but she laughed at me. I really don't know what to do I feel like I'm going to start skipping meals again and I don't want that but then again I want to make my mom happy.
          
          And also I'll be uploading into the adrian book soon dw sorry I've been MIA for a while there I'll try to be more consistent with my post

Its the weirdest thing, I have an eye that is always a little more shut than the other and I can never seem to open it naturally, but when I get tired I lose control of is slightly and it closes by itself and it's hard to keep open, I've always hated that about myself

Want to post something but have no idea what to post..  ideas?

Bro welcome to my personal ranting place

Did I really just fall for a guy I used to like, but stopped liking him because we lost communication and I had to focus on bigger things. Yes, and it feels weird.

I had a dream, it wasn't a good one either. You came back and stood in the living room the way you did 15 years ago. It pained me to see you because I wasn't ready at all. No one was. To see mom act so casual around you brought me to peices. Because you used her. You used all of us. To you we were always your puppets. Well, if you even count me as a part in your play. I was never important to anyone much less you, when you call you dont want to hear me and if you do hear me you make up an excuse to leave the call. I tried to tell you about a trip I wanted to take because mom said I should. It's a trip across the world to Korea, and when I told you this you just responded with 'oh yeah' before making an excuse and hanging up. If you want to be like that then I would just cut you off. The only reason I dont is because I have to keep you around to have half my family. I wish I had the guts to tell you to your face how much I despise you, but if I do, i wont see anyone that cares about me. That hurts like a mother trucker.

I tried to prove myself to you over and over again, but now I know that I will never be good enough to satisfy your selfish needs. She will always be better, and I will always be n o t h I n g. Thanks glad we established that now so I don't work my ass of for you and watch you tear my heart out infront of me. 
          
          I worked to save you, so save all of us, but no, that was never good enough for you. Nothing I do will ever be good enough for you. He didnt try and neither did she, but they got recognized. All I got is scars that i gave myself and I'll just smile and say I'm fine because who cares what I'm going through inside right. 
          
          All I want to say is I still have much I want to say, but what good does that do when theres no one around to hear it?
          
          "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

I'm being ignored again for stupid things, and then people forget that I was talking, so... did you just not care? Or were you even listening? The thing is, at this point the only times I talk is when I have something important to share. Breaks my heart that no one cares about me enough to listen to what I have to say</3

Umm... so rant?
          
          
          
          Has someone ever been in your life, but they dont treat you right? Like they expect everything from you but you cant even expect them to care. Like okay I get it you have things to do, you had... needs? But the thing that hurts me the most and keeps me up at night is the thought that I wasn't good enough. If I gave them my everything would they have stayed? Or would they have not cared and carried on with what they were doing. I feel stupid because I've guarded myself up with my feelings, began isolating myself, I cant say 'i love you' to people because if I do I feel like they will leave. I had a bad feeling about you all along, but you're still half my DNA without you I wouldn't have been born. Although I'm in pain now I know I will get over it, and by the time you realise what you lost it would be too late, it maybe alredy is since I'm starting to realize that I dont need a man. I've realised while spending time to get to know myself, that you and me do have one thing in common, we both like girls ️‍
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          (I'm bi )

Ahaha, I just hit 200 reads whatttttt das crazy broskii :)