This is a vent post so skip if you want
TW I will mention SH once
I have 13 missing assignments because my entire self worth is based off of my grades and intelligence and all of school came easily to me until now so I procrastinate everything because if I don't do it I won't get a bad grade on it so therefore I'm still smart and not worthless. I also forced myself to join a bunch of clubs and advanced math because if I do a lot of stuff I will get smarter so I won't be useless anymore. I can't physically bring myself to pay attention in class because everything came easy to me so I just assume it will still be easy but it's not and I'm to afraid to ask for help because I'm part of the advanced group and everyone else in the group gets it so I just pretend I get it. My math teacher emailed me saying she unenrolled me in something I didn't even know I was enrolled in so I started freaking out. Because of all this I have developed stress tics and major anxiety. to add to all of this yesterday I found out I have been having anxiety attacks almost once a week but I just didn't know that they were attacks, I'm also scared because I took the same advanced math class last year but I had to drop out becuase i became supper depressed and started unconsciously self harming myself and I'm afraid that is going to happen again. I don't want pity ir anything I just need to tell someone so I am telling random people online because they don't know me.