Firestorm221
You allowed me to trauma dump on you, so here we go i guess.
When i was 8 or 9 years old i was placed with a temporary family, because my mom was really sick at the time. (she's better now, and i've lived with her for a few years again). The temporary family abused me actively and passively, which has caused some really bad mental and physical trauma. I was sometimes not allowed to eat anything if i didn't finish schoolwork and chores (i wasn't helped at all by them). Sometimes i was hit too, but mostly they just neglected me. The family's daughter, who was my sister figure at the time helped me by covering the bruises and scars.
The next kinda shitty thing with my life is my homophobic classmate. He (using he as gender neutral pronoun) hates me for being gay and has tried to push me to killing myself 4 times, he already succeeded with another lgbtq kid, who was around my age when they decided to take their own life. I'm afraid that he'll try to out me as gay at some point.
Then there's my mental health issues and self-harm habits, but idk if you would care about that. Thanks for caring atleast a little.
Firestorm221
@Burntoutdasiy thanks, the abuse and problems go really deep, but talking about it to someone helps so much, thanks for caring <3
Burntoutdasiy
What happened to you was not your fault. I am so sorry that you had to deal with the insecurities of adults that’s not something a child should have to deal with I can only hope you are in a better living situation with your mom that she’s better.
Do you know the saying? "God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers" so screw whatever your classmate says the fact is he’s angry that you’re trying to be happy when he’s so clearly not and kys won’t fix anything it will only break it to nothing people with the hardest past have the greatest future and the most confusing present.
Getting used to it takes time, it won’t go away but it will feel better you just need to give it the chance to heal. You’re not broken.
You’re not a mistake. You’re not a freak. Don’t mind what others think too much they aren’t you. Don’t try to fit in by putting a mask on people are supposed to be different if you hide you will never find people who understand and like you for you don’t compare yourself to other people. The only person you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday in strive to be better in the day coming. You can’t let what only a few people have said what you down back when you were born to fly.
As for mental health issues that you’re going to therapy because it gives you a chance to heal, I know that it’s not that easy to get out of that mindset. If you want you can try art and music even if it’s not good or you don’t know how or if you’re Pablo Picasso, it helps believe me it really does art will help you process how you see things and you see yourself And music will help with those feelings you don’t know how to put into words. I hope I was able to even if it was a little bit.<3
