Thetean High Command

Stego can be a grand total of 20 years old at Indy Champ's birth

A small click is heard, followed by a voice booming across a dirt track.
          “3-22-7!”
          
          His feet are heavy. The squelch of mud beneath his soles become slower and slower as his tracks come closer and closer in length. He picks his head back up, and starts off again, this time in full sprint.
          His feet slide once, then twice, he almost falls as he takes Turns 1 and 2 at Santa Anita, but it’s just one more lap. 
          
          Entering the backstretch his strides lengthen, but his feet still land at the same time. He follows the tracks he’s set 200, no, 300 times today. 
          
          He picks his head up, but it’s too late. He runs into the back of another Uma, it feels like hitting a brick wall, before they tumble into the mud. It’s a bay girl with two spots of white on her bangs. Malibu Moon.
          
          “I’m so sorry about that… I- I’ve been running for hours, I just… Ugh.” He doesn’t get up, he just lays in the mud, staring up at the cloudy sky, watching more rain pour down onto the track, and onto him. 
          
          “It’s alright, I guess. C’mon, get up Point.” Malibu hadn’t fallen like he had, she’d been able to catch herself, and now stood in front of him, arm outstretched to pull him up. 
          
          “Do I wanna get up though?” he says, rolling his eyes, smiling, and averting his gaze.
          
          “I’d recommend it.” 
          
          “Point! Point are you alright!”
          
          Both heads turn to his trainer, who’s now running across the infield. 
          
          “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just tired…”

"Who... Who in their right mind puts a child as commander of a naval base!"
          
          "Huh..?" Argo looks up from his phone, slowly, skeptically.
          
          "Yeah, we don't do it because we're actually a good military that cares about NOT FUCKING DYING!"
          
          "Cardinal, what the fuck are you talking about."
          
          Landon smacks his hands on the counter, leaning over to listen, "Yeah Cardinal, what are you yapping about?"
          
          "Okay okay, I've been looking at a bunch of fics on like AO3 and Wattpad and shit because I'm bored on our sorties, and I keep seeing people write about child commanders. Like, you might as well not have a commander at this point if he can't give orders! It's just another episode of-"
          
          "The writer's poorly disguised fetish, yeah. Checks out."

Nice pfp

Uma Musume... Azur Lane... What's one thing they have in common?
          
          The main species is fully female. 
          
          Azur Lane doesn't elaborate, they just say "its all girls" and leave it at that. They leave open the possibility of shipboys but we all know it's never gonna happen. 
          
          Uma Musume EXPLICITLY goes out of its way to say there are NO horse boys, just horse girls. 
          
          Why am I complaining about this?
          
          Because I hate making self-inserts that sit on the sidelines. Argo, Cardinal, Gleaves, they all exist to properly interact with the enemies of Azur Lane. They sail, they fight, they argue, with the sirens, in battle. Being an Uma Musume trainer isn't all that boring, but you don't feel the thrill of a run, you can't really have a rivalry with an Uma as a trainer, and it kinda limits what I can do. 
          
          Why not make a female OC? 
          
          Lowk I just don't feel like it I just wrote all this because I like complaining.

Ring ring... 
          Ring ring... 
          Ring ring...
          Click.
          "Hello?"
          
          "Is this the president of Canadian Thetea?"
          
          The man froze with fear as the voice came through the line. It was a woman. As far as he knew, a very powerful one. And his enemy. But he mustn't show fear.
          
          "Yes, I believe you are The Empress?"
          
          Even over the phone, she could hear his fear, no matter how much he tried to hide it, and she smirked, not that the old man would know.
          
          "I'm calling you, regarding an offer."
          
          "What... kind?"
          
          "A peace offer."
          
          The president let out a breathless gasp and stared at the door in front of him. Peace? From the Sirens?
          
          "What... are your terms?"
          
          The Empress chuckled as she answered, "Simply, your land is of no use to us, so we will not attack it."
          
          "And what do you want..."
          
          "Simple. When we overthrow the United States, complete and utter loyalty from your people. Don't worry, I'm not expecting it yet."
          
          The President stopped for a second, and thought. The Eagle Union hadn't been one to go down without some of the hardest fights in human history. There was a good chance they'd win the Siren War, but there was always a risk. It would be nice if they didn't have to keep repairing their cities. The Sirens had some extra advanced technology anyway that could help the economy, if they let Thetea use it. It's ultimately a win-win. 
          
          "Deal."
          
          "Alright then, I'll see you at the end of the war Mister President, tada~"
          
          With another click, he set the phone down in the rack, thinking about what he just did to his country.

I saw Azur Lane trading cards today

"So let me get this straight."
          Gleaves stands in a room with 5 boys and a girl. He points at the girl first.
          "You're Jamaica, the female Evangelion pilot."
          
          She nods.
          
          "Yep!"
          
          He points at the next one, a catboy with long red hair in a braid.
          "You're the clone Sazanami, right?"
          
          The tiny boy nods. Gleaves looks at the next one, almost the same as the clone, but with brown hair and no ears. Plus a bit darker skin.
          
          "And you're the rally driver Sazanami?"
          
          He nods in the same fashion as his eva pilot counterpart. Gleaves looks at the next Jamaica.
          
          "Just generic whatever roleplay Jamaica right?"
          
          "Yeah, more or less."
          
          Turning to the last two he points at both of them.
          
          "And one of you are the Eva pilot and the other is the F1, slash WEC, slash NASCAR one."
          
          The boys nod in unison, much more lively than their Sazanami counterparts.

"Author is a lazy bum, didn't even announce his birthday this year."
          
          "You think he's ever gonna write again?"
          
          "Probably not."
          
          "Probably is still better than no."

"Jamaica Satsuki, is also out in Q1."
          
          Jamaica shook his head as he watched the display on his wheel update with 18th place. That was his last chance in qualifying, oh well. 
          
          "The race will be on wet tires, wet tires."
          
          "Wets? Wh- aw man."
          He leans his head back against the seat, staring up at the bright blue sky. It was all clear, shame the race wouldn't be.