I'm Frustrated

Vent coz I'm sad.
          I graduated high school with honors, with grades going up to 96/100, 95,93...haha, but I did not pass in the nearest med/ nursing university -( it's also free ) It's safe to say having high grades does not automatically mean passing entrance exam) and it's still far away from me (yet also the nearest) and all other schools are in the Capital, or near but crazy expensive.. 
          
          And now, I'm contemplating whether to cancel my enrollment in the other Nursing school which is private and expensive.. haha, I'm sad. I cried so hard but I really think I need to cancel it and try my luck in that free school next year ( The school I plan to cancel tops board exams, but that other one also passes board exams though not as high as the other.. It's just too expensive, and I think butterflies would come out of my wallet at the end of the day, that is how expensive it is ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ) 
          
          I'm just scared to tell, I would most definitely stop this school year and actually review for the upcoming exam next year. I'll try my luck in that school once again and actually take the exam seriously. 
          
          For now, I'll write, draw, film, do commission and do a part time job. 

I have a new Eremika au because I miss them { I wrote it last July 5 of 2024, and I'll probably publish it by this coming week or next week } (and also because, I just don't want to publish my Novel just yet as I'm still revising and writing it. Also, it's been such a long time and I'll be in College soon and will pursue something in the field of Medicine.)

I'm scared, I'm finally going to college and I'll have my entrance exam today in the field of medicine - (Nursing). Please, pray for me to pass, I already claim that I'll pass because God is with me (he's my strength)

I will pass the University admission test, I declare it in God's name. 
          
          My overall grade is currently at 89% and I'm hoping to get even higher than that. (Something that is around at least 98% percentile lmao) 
          
          That said,. Study hard everyone, I'm not the smartest myself, I tend to forget a lot of things.. I'm not even good at math back when I started high school ( grade 7) you'll see scores that is  37/100 or even lower than that but you'll be able to make it. I failed my subjects, but I'm able to pull myself up, so you'll make it too. 
          
          Trust him, and don't lean on your own understand. 
          
          Bye. I'll be able to pass it. ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

I republish this after revising it, I don't know if it's all alright now or I still have mistakes but I really did my best.. so, please read it. Thank you. 
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/337780802

Lmao, I tried to flirt with chatgpt.. it looks like I get friendzoned by a clueless person. 
          
          I even complimented it, I said: you looking fine today 
          
          and it replied: Thank you, but as a text-based AI, I don't have a physical appearance.
          
          In short I got bored and I don't know what else should I add in my research survey question. 

I can't believe I'm already on the time of my life in which the grades I could only dream about when I was in Junior high (90 and up) could end up disappointing me once I'm in my senior year ...
          
          Younger me would be screaming in joy if I ever got a 90 grade.. (she did once I guess) while I'm here frowning at it. 
          
          I really wanted to be on the stage with medal ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ and make my parents proud, graduate.. and hopefully become a dean lister in college .. and pass the board exam. 
          
          I wish I could..
          
          I hope I could..
          
          I dream I could..
          
          ..For the first time, I really want to believe myself..I know I could. ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ
          
          By the way, how are my fellow students here? Are you guys suffering with research paper because same lol 

Does any of you guys still in highschool and suffering with research paper right now like me? I'm doing the background of the study and I wanted to give up so bad  Arghhhhh! I just wanna scream at the top of my lungs
          
          
          
          Good thing I don't have to worry about any stories right now since I've already wrote the chapters long before the publication. 

I just searched up kpop rule 34 because Pinterest say not to and now I just -_-, I'm speechless.. like I'm not innocent, I've wrote copulation scenes two times already or so but.. What the freak! I'm crying, I didn't expect that, I legit thought it was just a rule like No dating or something .. 
          
          Haha, Curiousity would be the death of me.. 

I'm still in the class ranking but that doesn't mean my grades aren't disappointing. Yesterday, I was holding back my tears upon checking my grade on one subject. It was too disappointing and my heart feel too heavy but as I was infront of my teacher and classmates, crying is out the choices. When I was out of the school premises, that's when the tears began to fall down my face. Until I got home I was crying like a pathetic person, my heart was too heavy. 
          
          I'm fine now though, I don't take it to heart (cries like a baby.)