Jonathan

Something my boyfriend wrote about me; 
          His eyes where dull but it held that spark of happiness. I don't know if I should have been worried or amazed.
          Worried because he didn't sleep right lost all control.
          Or amazed because of his eyes that where almost glowing.
          Finally his head fell onto the pillow and he looked spent exhausted. insomnia wasn't fun to deal with hes been begging to get sleeping pills but everyone didn't believe him. He's eyes fell closed and I prayed to god that he was finally getting some sleep almost scared that he would died without sleep but I do have a theory; maybe he sleep so bad because of how much his working his ass of to chase a his dream and how exhausted it must be when people put limits on the one who doesn't see them. His breathe became calm not so fast of fearing of seeing things. I thanked god when he started to snore lightly. 
          
          Yes guys I'm dealing with insomnia and boyfriend seemed to notice when I went to LA for an entire week  

WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA YOU HAD ONE JOB ONE FUCKING JOB

If any of my followers is reading this 
          I may not update anytime soon my grandpa is dead and it hurts he was more there for me then my dad...
          
          Rest in peace 
          Grandpa ❤️

So what should I update first? 
          Well of the books I have

as the sun leave me crying again and as the night come to shin above me i can feel the blood run in my body but i'm still smiling you are far away from me long gone out of my touch out of my grip the stars are all clear now smiling looking back to the time i was there the one you could trust the one you call your best friend the one you call your diary the one you will never leave and you kept it you never left my life you just left this town you said to me don't let them tell who you are be yourself for me and now i am standing here yelling your name feeling the monstar pulling me away from you life the monstar in my head will never give up but now you got someone else someone new i still talk to you friend but now you are pushing me away and him away i just want to ask where do you wanna go leaving me and him here¨she's¨a monstar stay away from ¨her¨
          
          
          -Camilla

@BunnehJuice tossing and turning I close my eyes to see how far I can get but the sounds are still there and I can only see darkness I feel tear run down my cheeks darkness is everywhere the only thing I thinking is the regret of the life that I have

@BunnehJuice it okay it all stop every time I look into my crush eyes everything stop every time when I lock myself in my room and draw and when I look up I can feel my eyes lose hope and my room turn dark and the demon smile at me and then I continue my drawings but they turn dark and honest and show my true colors shows but my world is still and my eyes is dark and are hopeless.

I am running out of my bed ups I MEAN I AM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS HELP